Hancock

Hancock is a hodgepodge of intriguing ideas that, if developed further or presented as more than throw-ins to a confused production, might have made for a unique superhero film. The resulting movie, however, shows all the signs of studio interference and never establishes a clear identity or tone. To the extent that Hancock works, it's largely because of Will Smith, whose performance is stronger than what this otherwise scattershot production deserves. Hancock is sometimes funny, sometimes clever, and occasionally involving, but it's never brilliant and its edge is compromised by the neutering that accompanies the teen-friendly PG-13 rating.

Imagine Superman as an alcoholic misanthrope and you've got John Hancock (Will Smith), a downtrodden man with superpowers who just doesn't give a damn. His life philosophy is encapsulated by one word: "asshole." That's what he thinks of everyone and that's what they think of him. Hancock's rescues often turn into fiascos. On one occasion, he gets the bad guys but, in the process, causes $9 million in collateral damage. On another occasion, he saves a guy from getting hit by a freight train but, in the process, damages a few automobiles and causes the train to derail. Life is like that for Hancock. The D.A. wants him behind bars (the kind found in prison - not the kind he's familiar with) and he's being sued by seemingly half the people in the city. He's always got a bottle in his hand and even the kids who could be cheering him are calling him an "asshole."

Things start to change when he saves Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) from the train. Ray, the proprietor of his own floundering P.R. business, recognizes Hancock's shortcomings but believes that, with a little image makeover, Hancock can become a beloved figure. The image reformation comes with a price tag, however: a prison stint, rehab, a shave, and a cheesy costume. Meanwhile, Ray's wife, Mary (Charlize Theron), and Hancock are exchanging meaningful glances, hinting at a past connection. And, while Hancock appears to be invulnerable, everyone knows that all Supermen have their Kryptonites.

Hancock is two films. The first, the tale of the anti-hero learning to be a defender of Truth, Justice, and the American Way, is by far the more entertaining of the two. The movie's second piece is muddled and disjointed as the screenplay provides revelations about Hancock's origin. This aspect of the production has the scope of a Shakespearean tragedy and cannot effectively be addressed in the 45 minutes allotted to it. Both halves could have worked if properly expanded with the gaps filled in, but by compressing them into a single unit, the story as a whole suffers.

Hancock's opening segments occasionally call to mind the likes of the Arnold Schwarzenegger spoof, Last Action Hero, and the Pixar animated superhero movie, The Incredibles. The film, credited to director Peter Berg, has that sort of sensibility as it works to demythologize the superhero. Hancock is indeed the perfect asshole and there are plenty of opportunities for comedy. Smith, the consummate professional, wrings as much humor as he can from these situations, so there are laughs to be had. There's also a sense that someone other than Berg has his fingerprints on this project. A lot of the material is R-rated but it has been cut and cropped and shot in such a way that it can get away with a PG-13. There's something fundamentally dishonest about taking inherently adult material and chipping away at it until it's tame enough to be suitable for all ages.

Hancock's tone becomes more subdued, although not entirely downbeat, during the second half as the main character faces the sad truth about himself and his past. The ending is a complete mess. In order to achieve a balance between tension, tragedy, and smiles, the film doesn't play by its own rules. Much of what occurs during the climax makes little sense, and the supposed "villain," a thug named Red (Eddie Marsan), is about as intimidating as a warm cup of butterscotch pudding. Part of the inherent problem with Hancock's structure is the lack of a dramatically viable opponent. Since there isn't one, one has to be manufactured on the spot, and Red is the unfortunate result.

Will Smith's charisma is Hancock's single most important asset. All things being equal, we would not like Hancock. But we're primed to like Smith. This means that we end up rooting for the anti-hero to become a hero rather than wishing he would be swallowed up in a supernova. Only an actor of Smith's likeability could pull this off. Playing the too-good-to-be-true Ray, Jason Bateman is no less charming but a lot less imposing. This is a variation of his Juno persona. Charlize Theron is fine as Mary, but the character is mishandled from the beginning and Theron's second-billing status exacerbates matters. We know that an actor of her stature and caliber isn't going to play a simple housewife. Because this is Charlize Theron, those glances mean a lot more than a playful flirtation (or even an impending affair). Putting her in this movie is tantamount to erecting a blinking neon sign indicating that there's more to Mary than meets the eye. Cast a star of lesser magnitude in the role and Hancock might have been able keep this particular "twist" obscured. At the very least, it wouldn't have been obvious from the beginning.

Despite all the flaws and the frustrating sense that the movie could have offered a lot more than it actually does, Hancock is nevertheless a moderately enjoyable experience. It's a glass half-full/half-empty sort of thing. So far, this summer has seen a superior superhero movie (Iron Man), a solid one (The Incredible Hulk), and now this. Hancock is the worst of the three, but it's nowhere near the bottom of the genre. It works a lot better as a comedy/satire than as an action/adventure story, but its inability to emphasize the former elements over the latter hamstrings its appeal. An uncertainty about identity becomes not only the hero's problem, but the movie's as well.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

COMEDY
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-06
Running Length: 1:53
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Sexual Situations, Profanity, Nudity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Cast: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Nick Swardson, Lainie Kazan, Ido Mosseri, Rob Schneider, Michael Buffer
Director: Dennis Dugan
Screenplay: Adam Sandler & Robert Smigel & Judd Apatow
Cinematography: Michael Barrett
Music: Rupert Gregson-Williams
U.S. Distributor: Columbia Pictures

Watching You Don't Mess with the Zohan is a little like watching an episode of the TV show of which Adam Sandler is an alum: Saturday Night Live. Zohan feels like an extended collection of skits tied together by a flimsy umbrella story. It features cameos by second-tier celebrities (George Takei, John McEnroe) and has a musical "guest" (Mariah Carey). As is too often the case with today's SNL, humor is at a premium, a lot of supposedly "clever" material isn't remotely funny, and the whole thing feels like it should be over a lot sooner than it is. The result is another flabby comedy that gets its biggest laughs from thinly-covered penises and bare buttocks.

On some level, Zohan wants viewers to believe it's entering "daring" waters by its application of politically incorrect comedy to socio-political issues. (One wonders whether the filmmakers thought they were following in Borat's footsteps.) So it lampoons various aspects of Judaism, the Middle East conflict, homosexuality (central to Sandler's previous outing, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), and which wives of the current crop of Presidential candidates (or, in one case, the candidate herself) are "bang-able." The problem is that while this material may be outlandish and in questionable taste, it's not funny. Maybe there's a chuckle to be found in how many uses the characters find for hummus, but like many of the jokes in Zohan, this one is beaten until it's far past the point of death. Sandler does this a lot here: uncovers something amusing then repeatedly goes back to it until it has become tedious. In many ways, that's a description of the production as a whole.

Zohan (Sandler) is an Israeli James Bond who loves disco dancing and secretly dreams of moving to New York and becoming a hair stylist. He's fed up of the never-ending Middle East conflict and just wants to live in peace where he can enjoy hummus and Fizzy Bubbly, and make everyone's hair silky smooth. A battle with his arch enemy, The Phantom (John Turturro), allows Zohan to fake his own death. He then escapes to New York where he changes his look and name (now "Scrappy Coco") and goes to work for a Palestinian hairdresser named Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), whose accent is almost as bad as his. He graduates from unpaid sweeper to star stylist, as his sensual manner of washing women's hair (followed by loud, animal sex in a backroom) makes him a top attraction. The film also incorporates subplots about an egomaniacal land tycoon (Michael Buffer - although they should have gotten Donald Trump) and a romance between Zohan and Dalia.

As directed by longtime Sandler cohort and frequent collaborator, Dennis Dugan, the movie opens with some energy but quickly descends into the doldrums. Once the film gets to New York, it becomes repetitive and long-winded. The proceedings get an occasional jolt of energy when Zohan uses his superspy abilities to defeat criminals, but there are too few instances of this. The movie's middle section is primarily comprised of scenes of elderly women looking disheveled as they exit the back room where Zohan has taken them as a part of their "hair styling." The film pays so little attention to the attraction between Zohan and Dalia that the only reason it doesn't come as a complete surprise is because it's a given in comedies like this that the lead man must fall in love with the hottest woman.

Once, Adam Sandler was known as one of the bad boys of comedy - an actor who typically played uncouth men in a state of arrested adolescent development, and used those characteristics to comedic effect. These days, Sandler wants to be liked, so he occasionally essays serious roles and his alter-egos in comedies have lost their edge. Despite his willingness to couple with anything female and his Monty Python-esque accent, Zohan is pretty boring. "Pretty" also applies to Emmanuelle Chriqui. She's eye candy for the teenage boys who comprise Sandler's core audience. John Tuturro is underused and unfunny. Then there's Rob Schneider, Sandler's buddy, who once again proves that a one scene appearance is too much screen time - and here he's given a lot more than just one scene. His subplot about a terrorist taxi cab driver out to get Zohan is a complete dud, and not only because Schneider fails to elicit a single laugh.

Even die-hard Sandler lovers will likely acknowledge that their hero isn't firing on all cylinders here. We go to these movies to laugh at dumb, crude things and, while You Don't Mess with the Zohan offers plenty of crass, stupid material, not a lot of it is funny, even on a base level. For every successful gag, there are perhaps ten that don't work or that try so hard that they lose their appeal. As a ten-minute skit on Saturday Night Live, You Don't Mess with the Zohan might have worked. As a two-hour movie, it lacks the comedic energy to rise above a middling crowd of forgettable summer movies.

Sex and the City

COMEDY/DRAMA
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-05-30
Running Length: 2:28
MPAA Classification: R (Sexual Situations, Nudity, Profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Cast: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Chris Noth, Jennifer Hudson, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler
Director: Michael Patrick King
Screenplay: Michael Patrick King, based on characters created by Candace Bushnell
Cinematography: John Thomas
Music: Aaraon Zigman
U.S. Distributor: New Line Cinema

n transitioning Sex and the City from the small screen to the big one, filmmaker Michael Patrick King (who was also one of the HBO show runners) chose not to make the movie inclusive. This is for the fans, and only for the fans. Those who lived and loved and suffered and rejoiced over the years with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda will in all likelihood be delighted by the cinematic production. It is a continuation and an affirmation that life goes on even after reruns. For those who do not consider themselves to be among the Sex and the City faithful, however, this is a painful experience, perhaps the longest 148 minutes likely to be spent in a movie theater this year. Watching grass grow is more dramatically satisfying.

Sex and the City is a lot like Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Although that may at first sound like a bizarre comparison, it's not a stretch. When it arrived in theaters in 1979, Star Trek: The Motion Picture was a valentine to those who loved the TV show. The film was less interested in opening up the Star Trek universe to non-believers than it was in providing a reunion in which every member of the original cast got at least one moment in the spotlight. Fans embraced the film. On the other hand, casual viewers were bored out of their minds. History repeats itself with Sex and the City. This is an exercise in self-indulgence - an episode of the TV series inflated to grotesquely exaggerated proportions both in terms of size and running time. What can make for disposable entertainment in 30-minute bites becomes unbearably tedious when expanded to five times that length.

The movie opens by catching up with where the lives of the characters have gone since the end of the TV show. Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) is still with Mr. Big (Chris Noth). His professed undying love has not diminished. Now, they're talking about moving in together and getting married. Yet as plans for the nuptials get underway, ideas for an intimate gathering are inflated in direct proportion to the price tag on the wedding gown. Meanwhile, Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is living the life of luxury in California, but she's bored and her out-of-control libido is threatening to ruin her cozy life. Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is a doting wife and mother but is worried that her life may be too perfect and that karma may be waiting to put her through a wringer. Finally, Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) learns that there's a price to be paid for a lack of sexual intimacy in the marriage bed.

The TV series Sex and the City was often lauded as having been one of the smartest written shows during its era. While that may have been true, little of the reputed intelligence has made it into the movie's screenplay. The storyline is a turgidly paced soap opera with minimal character development. The four principals are largely in the same place at the end of the movie as they are at the beginning. The screenplay relies on viewers having "grown" with these individuals over the years. Those starting the journey with the movie will come away wondering why anyone would care about four unpleasant, shallow, self-absorbed women. The dialogue, which was said to be a strong point of the TV program, is trite and riddled with clichés. And Sarah Jessica Parker's voiceovers, instead of setting the scene and providing pithy narration, come and go randomly and add little to the proceedings.

Sex and the City isn't especially funny, although it labors hard to be. The movie's idea of "clever" is to have a conversation about sex using the word "coloring" as a euphemism (so as not to distress a young girl in the room). This leads to dialogue that is worthy of the old sit-com Three's Company. The film's biggest laugh comes not as a result of sex talk or bedroom hijinks but when Charlotte ingests something that doesn't agree with her and she can't make it to the bathroom in time. That's right: Sex and the City's funniest gag is a poop joke.

The film's idea of breaking new ground is to introduce the secondary character of Louise (Jennifer Hudson), Carrie's new assistant. She is given a complete, perfunctory arc and is effectively written out after having been in only a handful of scenes. At least there's someone on screen who isn't white, skinny, and nails-on-the-blackboard unpleasant. Sadly, even she can't escape infection by the cupidity that suffuses Sex and the City. Unable to afford brand-name handbags, she rents them. The ultimate expression of Carrie's affection for her assistant is to present her with a real Louis Vuitton as a Christmas gift. In a way, Sex and the City suffers from bad timing. Its celebration of materialism feels a little out of whack with the national mood in the midst of a recession.

So which is Sex and the City: the continuation of a modern-day fairy tale begun on television and adored by millions (most of whom are women and gay men) or a sloppily-made, unbearably long slog through the lives of four unpleasant individuals whose values are more screwed up than their love lives? It is, in fact, both. The niche audience will applaud it; everyone else will either ignore it (the wisest choice) or fall asleep if ambushed into seeing it. There are no surprises here, either for fans or non-fans. The difference is that those who have developed a love for the TV series will savor the comfort of being reunited with old friends while other viewers will care even less about Sex and the City's protagonists on the way out of the theater than they do on the way in.

The Happening

THRILLER
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-13
Running Length: 1:30
MPAA Classification: R (Violence, Profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Ashlyn Sanchez, Betty Buckley
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Screenplay: M. Night Shyamalan
Cinematography: Tak Fujimoto
Music: James Newton Howard
U.S. Distributor: 20th Century Fox

M. Night Shyamalan has always been something of an illusionist. Even at his best, he succeeds not because he's a masterful storyteller but because he's an expert at sleight-of-hand and pulling rabbits out of his hat. With The Lady in the Water, Shyamalan's smoke dissipated and his mirrors broke, and he hasn't repaired them in time for The Happening. In fact, this 2008 thriller eclipses The Lady in the Water in terms of ineptitude. It's borderline unwatchable and raises the question of whether anyone will be satisfied with what the director has translated from script to screen. This isn't a long movie - unlike many summertime would-be "big events," it clocks in well under two hours - but it serves as an endurance test.

The Happening has an apocalyptic premise. Some kind of mysterious neurotoxin has been released in New York's Central Park, causing people to become disoriented and suicidal. They eliminate themselves in interesting ways, involving implements as diverse as knitting needles and lawnmowers. The airborne killer soon spreads throughout Manhattan, then expands to Philadelphia and Boston, and all around the northeast. What is initially posited as a terrorist attack may in fact be something else. The story centers on four individuals - high school teacher Elliot (Mark Wahlberg); his emotionally distant wife, Alma (Zooey Deschanel); his best friend, Julian (John Leguizamo); and Julian's young daughter, Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez). They escape by train from Philadelphia just before the epidemic hits, but find themselves stranded in rural Eastern Pennsylvania , fleeing from the wind and hoping to find a place of shelter in which to weather the storm.

There are two elements a film like The Happening needs to succeed: a powerful sense of atmosphere and strong character development. When a film possesses a minimal plot, it needs something - anything - to capture the viewer's interest. It needs people with whom audience members can identify and about whom they can care, and it needs a sense of menace, a feeling that the threat is real and immediate. The Happening possesses neither. Faced with stilted dialogue that's a patchwork of howlingly bad lines and clichés, there's little that leads Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel can do other than grit their teeth and soldier on. Neither gives a memorable performance, but the movie loses us long before their acting can be called into question.

Shyamalan likes to compare himself to Alfred Hitchcock (and The Happening includes nods to The Birds) but, even at his worst, the Master of Suspense understood the importance of atmosphere. Shyamalan, on the other hand, fails to grasp that his constant shots of trees and bushes swaying to the promptings of the wind do not invoke the sense of dread he's hoping for. In actuality, there are times when these repeated images verge on self-parody, and it doesn't help that characters start talking to the vegetation. Significant chunks of The Happening might have been unintentionally amusing if the end result wasn't so sad and dispiriting. It takes great skill as a director to make viewers believe the wind and plants are to be feared, and it's evident that Shyamalan has overreached himself by a stretch. Even the singing Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors was more ominous.

It's easy enough to see what Shyamalan is trying to do, but "trying" can be distanced by a chasm from "succeeding," as is the case here. Had The Happening worked, it might have been the kind of creepy story that gets under your skin, but the actual movie looks and feels like something made for almost no budget by a filmmaker with mediocre talent. There's no point to it, unless it's to trumpet a way-too-obvious and strident pro-environmentalist message. (One that makes The Day After Tomorrow seem subtle by comparison.) The Happening is a bore with none of the tension and suspense needed to keep us interested. Even simple scenes reek of contrivance. Everything in this movie is artificial - fake to a level beyond what even those with blockbuster-benumbed senses will endure. We don't believe in these people, their relationships, their circumstances, or even the things they say. Worse still, we don't care. It doesn't matter if they live or die, if there's a happy ending, or some kind of twist. The Happening is a movie to walk out of, sleep through, or - best of all - not to bother with.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

ACTION/ADVENTURE
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-05-22
Running Length: 2:06
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Violence)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Harrison Ford, Shia LeBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone, John Hurt, Jim Broadbent
Director: Steven Spielberg
Screenplay: David Koepp
Cinematography: Janusz Kaminski
Music: John Williams
U.S. Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Nineteen years is a long time to wait, a long time in which expectations can be fertilized and grow. The biggest challenges faced by Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have less to do with entertaining an audience than competing with the ghosts of movies past and expanding the mythology of a character who has been out of the limelight for two decades. Perhaps it is too much to hope that this new movie, coming so long after its predecessors, might recapture the magic that infused Raiders of the Lost Ark and sporadically sputtered to the surface in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The latest effort is the most lifeless of the series, and feels more like an overplotted, confused reunion than a legitimate action/adventure outing. It would be a failure even without the impressive pedigree - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull simply isn't a very good motion picture.

Still, good or bad, everyone will see it. But the film doesn't work on the most basic level where even The Temple of Doom succeeded: getting viewers on the edges of their seats. That's not to say the film is without action; it features a number of such sequences. But a key element is missing: excitement. There's no suspense and not a lot of energy. We never believe that Indy or a member of his entourage is in danger. There's never any sense of "How's he going to get out of this?" The cliffhangers are easily shrugged off. The reason to see The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is not to rediscover the joy and thrills of the Indiana Jones of old but to connect with familiar friends. This movie is comfortable, and that's the problem. It's too comfortable. For George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Harrison Ford, it's a matter of putting on well-worn slippers and bathrobes. The result is a sloppily made opportunity to spend a few more hours with a character who has put on a lot more years and miles since the last time we encountered him in a darkened theater.

The curtain rises in 1957 Nevada, where a captive Indy (Ford) and his latest sidekick, Mac (Ray Winstone), have been taken by a Soviet squad led by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett). She leads them into a huge warehouse where all the American military secret artifacts are stored (including, as we see in a "cameo," the Lost Ark from Raiders). There's something she wants and Indy is expected to locate it for her. An escape later, Dr. Jones is back in class teaching about the wonders of archeology to his students. That's when Dean Stanforth (Jim Broadbent) informs him that he's being given a mandatory leave of absence. Before he can get out of Dodge, however, he is cornered by a twenty-something guy named "Mutt" (Shia LeBeouf). The leather-jacketed Guys and Dolls reject needs Indy's help to find Professor Oxley (John Hurt), who has gotten mixed up in a treasure hunt involving crystal skulls and the Lost City of Gold. Soon, Indy and Mutt are on their way to South America, where their paths cross with Spalko and her Soviet comrades and a figure from Indy's past - the irrepressible Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen).

In bringing back Marion, at least The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull does one thing right. She and Ford exhibit a little of the same chemistry, although the sexual element is toned down significantly now that they're old enough to be grandparents. The screenplay also makes frequent and pointed references to Indy's age. There's never any pretence that this guy isn't ready to start collecting Social Security, and the character of Mutt is added as a way by which the series can continue. Although numerous "old friends" are missing, each has an analog of sorts. Marcus Brody, portrayed by the late Denholm Elliott, is no longer around, so Jim Broadbent's Dean Stanforth fills his place. Sallah, who helped Indy in Chapters One and Three, is left off the screen (reportedly due to "unreasonable" salary demands by John Rhys-Davies), so enter Ray Winstone's Mac. Finally, with Sean Connery electing not to come out of retirement, there's no way to bring back Henry Jones Sr., but John Hurt's Oxley functions in a similar capacity. Everything old is new again, or something like that.

Every Indiana Jones adventure has a central action sequence, a "tent pole" around which everything else is constructed. In Raiders, it was the segment where Indy hijacks the vehicle in the convoy containing the Ark. In Temple, it was the mine cart ride. In Crusade, it was the tank encounter. There's one in The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, as well - a multi-vehicle chase through the jungle that ends with a lot of red ants and an amphibious landing. Unfortunately, not only is the level of tension at an all-time low but the choreography is dubious. The film can't keep track of all the characters so one car disappears for half the chase only to reappear at a critical juncture near the end. The movie contains its share of other action scenes that, while less lavish or extensive, are no more thrilling.

As was true of the previous films, this one attempts to balance light comedy with action. The jokiness that occasionally damaged The Last Crusade is more pronounced here with one-liners punctuating the dialogue. There are some clever ones, to be sure, but most are perfunctory. And there are times when things get silly, even for the comic book-inspired calisthenics of Dr. Jones. For an example of this, consider the scene in which Mutt makes like Tarzan and swings from vine to vine on the way to a monkey-accompanied rescue.

The movie's decision to add aliens to the mix isn't a problem, especially considering the supernatural underpinnings of the previous installments, but the resultant anticlimax is. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull shoots its feeble wad early and stumbles to the finish line with a lot of effects, none of which are special.

Still, even considering the poor focus of the screenplay and the lackluster nature of Spielberg's normally sure-handed direction, it's as tough to dislike this movie as it is to champion it. That's because, while nearly everything around him has changed, Ford has no trouble sliding back into the costume and character. His performance sells this as an Indiana Jones movie no matter how much nearly every other aspect of the production cries out "imitation." The pleasures to be had from the film, meager though they are at times, are almost all delivered by Ford, and his scenes with Karen Allen bring a long-desired closure to the relationship they initiated nearly 30 years ago. Shia LeBoeuf doesn't show that he has what it takes to fill Ford's shoes but, as a sidekick, he's effective. Mutt could easily have been annoying but he stays in his place.

In the end, however, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull can't be seen as anything other than a very minor chapter in the adventures of one of cinema's most beloved action heroes and a disappointment for those who have waited patiently for his return. George Lucas knows a thing of two about disappointing fans when resurrecting long-dormant franchises, but what he does here is a far worse crime than he perpetrated with Star Wars. In that saga, there was still a story to tell. The episodic nature of this trilogy meant no follow-up was needed. And, if this is the best the filmmakers could come up with, the wisest course would have been to leave movie-goers with their memories.

The Love Guru

COMEDY
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-20
Running Length: 1:29
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Sexual Situations, Profanity, Violence)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Meagan Good, Vern Troyer, Ben Kingsley
Director: Marco Schnabel
Screenplay: Mike Myers & Graham Gordy
Cinematography: Peter Deming
Music: George S. Clinton
U.S. Distributor: Paramount Pictures

To some, Mike Myers is Wayne. To others, he is Austin Powers or the voice of Shrek. It's doubtful that he will be Guru Pitka to many. The Love Guru, Myers' latest film and his most recent live-action endeavor since The Cat in the Hat, is as unmemorable as the title character. Although the film can boast clusters of clever and/or amusing material, they are not sprinkled liberally enough to obscure how thin all other aspects of this production are. The Love Guru is a skit that starts out promising but loses momentum as it goes on and on and on… Occasional bursts of comedy keep things from becoming unbearable but whenever Myers tries to get even a little serious or advance the "plot," the desire to take a nap becomes almost overpowering.

Guru Pitka (Myers) is known variously as "The Love Guru" and the "Second-Most Famous Guru after Deepak Chopra." His ashram is visited by"notables" like Jessica Simpson, Val Kilmer, and Mariska Hargitay (there's a fairly amusing joke there). However, he chafes at playing second fiddle on the world's stage to Chopra, with whom he studied as a child under the tutelage of Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley). The Promised Land for Pitka is a guest spot on Oprah. His services are sought by the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba), when her star player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), is unable to get the job done on the doorstep of the Stanley Cup Finals. Without Darren, the Maple Leafs have no chance, and he is unable to get over losing his girlfriend, Prudence (Meagan Good) to the L.A. Kings' goaltender, Jacques 'Le Coq' Grande (Justin Timberlake). Guru Pitka's assignment, which comes with a $2 million paycheck and the sought-after appearance on Oprah, is to reunite Darren and Prudence.

On a broad level, The Love Guru is as much a satire of Eastern-based self-help philosophies as Austin Powers was of spy movies. The movie is at its best during a seminar given by Guru Pitka during the early going. Using silly and sometimes profane acronyms (B.L.O.W.M.E.), the guru preaches a lifestyle perspective that distills to one simple premise: D.R.A.M.A. During this lecture, Myers gets in his jabs early and often and, had the rest of the movie continued on this level, The Love Guru might have been Myers' most successful comedy to-date. Unfortunately, it devolves into little more than a series of bodily fluid-themed gags and sex jokes. We learn, for example, why Tugginmypudha is cross-eyed, why Jacques is nicknamed 'Le Coq', and what happens when Pitka's chastity belt is put to the test. The problem isn't that this material is sophomoric, but that it's sophomoric and frequently unfunny. When was the last time an elementary school graduate laughed at a man making "diarrhea noises" for about 30 seconds?

Myers has fashioned a career out of hiding behind inventive caricatures with faces and accents not entirely his own. They're easy enough to list: Austin Powers, Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard, Shrek, The Cat in the Hat. Guru Pitka, with his long beard and flowing locks, is another such entity. Hindu groups are protesting the movie, but Myers isn't mocking the religion as much as the commercial offshoots that have rooted in pop culture over the past few years. The movie never addresses or lampoons issues of spirituality. Pitka's goal in life is to achieve self-love. (Only then can he have sex with Jessica Alba.) His is a secular mantra. The closest The Love Guru comes to commenting on Indian culture is when it parodies cheesy Bollywood musical numbers. Myers gets in more jabs at Canada than India. (He is, of course, Canadian.) The participation of Vern Troyer (playing the Maple Leafs' coach, not Mini-Me) allows Myers to unleash a barrage of dwarf-related jokes, many of which are of questionable taste and a few of which are very funny.

I wanted to like The Love Guru more than I did. The frustrating thing about the movie is that it contains moment of comedy that verge on inspired, but they are too infrequent to justify the running length. For the most part, the film meanders, trying to get us to care about paper-thin characters like Roanoke, Prudence, and Jane. With Austin Powers, Myers went after a subject that everyone recognized as being ripe for satire. While his subject material in The Love Guru is no less easily lampooned, the parody has less universal resonance. That, more than anything else, may be what limits interest in this movie. The nature of this comedy isn't that different from that of the popular Austin Powers series, but the material isn't as accessible.

The Incredible Hulk.

ACTION/ADVENTURE
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-13
Running Length: 1:52
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Violence, Profanity, Sexual Situations)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt, Tim Blake Nelson
Director: Louis Leterrier
Screenplay: Zak Penn and Edward Harrison, based on the comic book By Stan Lee and Jack Kirby
Cinematography: Peter Menzies Jr.
Music: Craig Armstrong
U.S. Distributor: Universal Pictures

This review reveals some of the cameos in The Incredible Hulk. Those who wish to be surprised by these appearances would do well to stop reading now.

For five years, Marvel has been trying to figure out what to do with one of the biggest potential franchises of its universe. Ang Lee's Hulk proved to be a dud with fans and producing a direct sequel was as unlikely an alternative as altogether forgoing additional Hulk movies. So the decision was made to "re-imagine" the character, which is a nice way of saying that the 2003 feature would be ignored. The Incredible Hulk is a more traditional superhero movie than its predecessor and should please those who want their not-so-jolly green giant served with helpings of action. This film provides less talk and more smashing.

Structurally, The Incredible Hulk is a fairly straightforward superhero movie. While it is not an "origin story" in the strictest sense, it functions as one in the way it must introduce characters, establish situations and relationships, and open a series. As a result of so much backstory, there's not a lot of room for a complex plot. So the principal villain remains half-formed and the storyline as a whole revolves around three confrontations between the Hulk and this nemesis.

The film opens with a re-telling of how Dr. Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) entered his Jekyll and Hyde state. This allows the 2003 Hulk to be "erased" from the record for those who care about such things. As we join the story, Banner is in South America, on the run from himself and the military, trying to keep a low profile while he searches for a cure to what plagues him. A mishap at a factory alerts General Ross (William Hurt) to Banner's location. A tactical team, led by the amoral Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), goes in to capture Banner. After turning into the Hulk, he escapes and heads back to the United States, where he is reunited with his former love, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler). Meanwhile, the General and Emil plot a "foolproof" method of capturing Banner - one that involves injecting Blonsky with a serum that makes him superhuman.

The Incredible Hulk takes place in the same "universe" as Iron Man (a point that is driven home by a Robert Downey Jr. cameo), but the movies aren't on quite the same level. Iron Man was rightfully described as a "comic book movie that you don't have to be a comic book fan to like." The same is not true of The Incredible Hulk. This film's appeal, while not as narrowly focused as Sex and the City, is designed primarily with fanboys in mind. Director Louis Leterrier's approach lacks the wit and sophistication of Iron Man. While The Incredible Hulk has some emotional resonance, it's built on a foundation of action. When Lou Ferrigno (providing the main character's voice) shouts "Hulk Smash!", it encapsulates the attraction.

As Banner, Edward Norton takes over for Eric Bana but there's little apparent difference in the way the character is interpreted. Banner is still the same tortured soul he was in 2003. Liv Tyler's version of Betty Ross is surprisingly awkward and at times unconvincing, but maybe that has a lot to do with her dialogue. It's as if George Lucas was brought in to ghost write her lines. At least there's a real sense of affection between Banner and Betty; that goes a long way toward redeeming weaknesses in Tyler's performance. As Blonsky, Tim Roth is at his badass best, even if all he really has to do is sneer a lot. William Hurt is fine, if a little bland, as Ross. Then there's Downey, who's on-screen for about 30 seconds, but steals the movie and brings down the house. That says a lot about the popularity of Iron Man and indicates how big Iron Man 2 will be.

The Incredible Hulk pays homage in many ways to the popular late-'70s/early-'80s TV show of the same name. In addition to providing the little-used voice of the Hulk, Ferrigno reprises his role from the 2003 movie as a nameless security guard. Bill Bixby gets a little face-time via some archival footage that's inserted in such a way that anyone not looking for it won't be bothered by it. There's also a brief snippet of the TV show's theme tune, a character named "Jack McGee," and an iconic shot of Banner walking alone, hitchhiking. Plus, Stan Lee makes his obligatory cameo. (He and Ferrigno are the only two to appear in both Hulk and The Incredible Hulk.)

After a slightly protracted introduction that puts all the pieces in place, The Incredible Hulk stays action-oriented for the remainder of its running time, pausing occasionally for some exposition or to advance the Banner/Betty relationship. Granted, a lot of the action consists of chase scenes with soldiers running after Banner, but whenever the Hulk appears, things get interesting. The final battle, bits of which have been shown in TV commercials and trailers, recalls one of those Japanese monster-a-thons where giant creatures collide. And it's a lot more kinetic (and shorter) than the climactic conflict in Transformers. The Incredible Hulk builds to this, and it doesn't let us down.

The special effects used to create the Hulk aren't flawless but they're good enough. The CGI is evident mainly during the final battle, when it's apparent that a lot of what we're seeing was crafted in a computer. The word "cartoonish" comes to mind but, considering that this is adapted from a comic book, that's not an inappropriate descriptor. The work here passes muster, and the Hulk is no longer the bright green of the 2003 feature. Letterier has rendered him in a grayish-green.

The Incredible Hulk provides Marvel with its second superhero hit of the summer. For comic book fans, Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk represent a solid one-two punch. If the former movie was a triple, the latter is a solid single, and good enough to drive the earlier one home. Now, the wait is on for The Dark Knight, to see whether D.C. can hold its own. Certainly, Marvel has succeeded in wiping away the hangover from last summer's crop of superhero movies and revising the future look more promising.

Kung Fu Panda

ANIMATED
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-06
Running Length: 1:30
MPAA Classification: PG (Nothing Objectionable)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: (voices) Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Jackie Chan, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Lucy Liu, David Cross, Seth Rogen, Randall Duk Kim
Director: Mark Osborne, John Stevenson
Screenplay: Jonathan Aibel & Glenn Berger
Cinematography: Young Duk Jhun
Music: John Powell, Hans Zimmer
U.S. Distributor: Dreamworks Animation

Kung Fu Panda adopts a different, less zany tone than one might expect from a movie with that title, especially considering that Jack Black has been brought on board to provide the lead voice. While it would be unfair to say that the movie doesn't present its share of comedic moments, the animated production as a whole jettisons non-stop jokiness in favor of something a little more serious. Thus, Kung Fu Panda ends up presenting a message about believing in oneself that might not have come across as successfully had it tended toward outright fatuousness.

The film is set in and around China's Valley of Peace, where there are no humans, only talking animals. Po the Panda (voice of Black) spends his time daydreaming about being a martial arts hero when he's not working for his father (James Hong) making and serving noodle soup. Meanwhile, at a nearby temple, the head monk, Master Oogway (Randall Duk Kim), has had a vision that the power-mad Tia Lung (Ian McShane) will escape from prison and ravage the Valley in his quest for dominance. To stop this, Oogway must discern the one who deserves to become the Dragon Warrior. There are five obvious candidates, all apprentices to Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman): Monkey (Jackie Chan), Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Viper (Lucy Liu), Crane (David Cross), and Mantis (Seth Rogen). Yet, as the result of a seemingly random series of events, Oogway chooses Po. This comes as a surprise not only to an outraged Shifu but to his pupils as well. The thought of Po confronting Tia Lung is laughable since the fat panda has trouble making it to the top of the temple's stairs. But, as must be the case for the movie to have any traction, Po has hidden talents that Shifu is able to discover and unlock, even as time grows short.

The film contains plenty of martial arts action and, without the constraints of needing live action actors, it's able to play fast and loose with the laws of physics. There are nods to the fighting styles of Jackie Chan and Jet Li, as well as homages to the wire-fu and computer enhanced approaches used in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and The Matrix. This is mixed and matched with a cartoonishness that often seems closer to the fighting in the old Batman TV series than to that in any "serious" kung fu movie. From Po's training to Tia Lung's prison escape to the final confrontation, Kung Fu Panda keeps things moving, and it tells its story in a tidy 90 minutes. This is one summer movie that doesn't feel bloated.

The filmmakers get some comedic mileage out of making Po a Kung Fu fanboy. There's a tongue-in-cheek scene that has him examining artifacts in the temple and revealing the kind of minutia that only a true fan would know. He's a die-hard Trekkie suddenly set loose on the Enterprise soundstage. For him, meeting the Furious Five is a dream come true. Even though he's the legendary Dragon Warrior whose arrival has been greatly anticipated, he is awestruck and tongue-tied around Monkey, Tigress, Viper, Crane, and Mantis.

As Po, Jack Black brings his usual mix of puppy dog eagerness and rambunctious humor to the panda. One never forgets that Black is Po - his voice is too distinctive - but that's not a distraction. The reality is that Black plays most of his live-action roles like a cartoon character, so this is perfect for him. The other two main parts - Dustin Hoffman as Master Shifu and Ian McShane as Tia Lung - are well-cast. Hoffman brings authority and McShane adds menace, and their voices, while familiar, are not immediately recognizable. After that, however, it's mostly stunt casting. Angelina Jolie doesn't have more than handful of lines, so she's in this mainly to add some star power to the cast. Then there's Jackie Chan. Chan is far from an adept enunciator of English, but the opportunity to have him on board was probably too good to pass up.

The animation is workmanlike, which is to say that the characters and settings are nicely rendered but there are no steps forward in technique. Perhaps we have reached a state where the lush detail of computer generated images is no longer eye-popping; it has become expected. If that's the case, Kung Fu Panda delivers what's expected. There is one interesting twist: the movie opens with a dream sequence that is crudely presented using two-dimensional, exaggerated caricatures, so when the dream ends and we enter the "real" world, the contrast is stark.

In recent years, computer animation has been in the doldrums. While Kung Fu Panda isn't the movie to re-invigorate the genre, it's made with enough technical savvy and provides sufficient fun (especially for younger viewers) that it should be a major player at the summer box office. Although the basic storyline and moral are standard animated film building blocks, Kung Fu Panda contains enough funny material, low-key thrills, and moments of genuine pathos (a flashback detailing Shifu's past connection to Tia Lung) to prevent it from seeming too much like a re-tread. This is a solid family film material, although one suspects the children will get a little more out of it than their parents.

Get Smart

COMEDY
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-20
Running Length: 1:50
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Sexual Situations, Profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Cast: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Alan Arkin, Terrence Stamp, James Caan, Ken Davatian, Dalip Singh
Director: Peter Segal
Screenplay: Tom J. Astle & Matt Ember
Cinematography: Dean Semler
Music: Trevor Rabin
U.S. Distributor: Warner Brothers

Get Smart becomes the latest in a long line of TV series to get a big-screen treatment. While we have come to expect recycled refuse from most of these (Bewitched perhaps occupying the nadir), Get Smart manages to rise above the continuum of regurgitation by walking a tightrope that allows it to appeal to those who have fond memories of the late-1960s spy spoof and those who don't know Don Adams from John Adams. Get Smart is delightfully silly and at times very funny. The characters are likeable and feel connected to their TV counterparts. And, although Mel Brooks and Buck Henry (creators of the original) are not directly involved, the filmmakers have crafted something that both men would likely agree is in the spirit of what they shepherded to the small screen.

Get Smart opens by re-creating the credits of the original, with Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) walking through a seemingly endless series of locking doors until he gets to a telephone booth that transports him into the heart of CONTROL, a covert American intelligence agency set up to do battle with its dastardly rival, KAOS. CONTROL is presided over by The Chief (Alan Arkin), and Max is its best analyst. When an attack on CONTROL headquarters by KAOS operative Sigfried (Terrence Stamp) eliminates many of CONTROL's agents, Max is elevated from analyst to field operative and given the designation of "Agent 86." He is partnered with Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) and sent into action. Providing them with support from the home base as they track down Sigfried is Agent 23 (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson), who is too well-known to be able to function effectively under cover.

Steve Carell's portrayal of Max is just about perfect for the material. He doesn't try to ape Don Adams - that would have been a mistake - but there's enough of the late actor in the performance that the original Max hasn't been obfuscated. Carell delivers many of Max's signature lines ("Would you believe…?", "Missed it by THIS much") with similar inflections. When it comes to re-interpreting a well-established character from the past, Carell is far more successful than Steve Martin's hatchet job in the remake of The Pink Panther. There's a little of Barbara Feldon in Anne Hathaway's Agent 99, although her outfits and attitudes are more modern. If there's a downside to the casting of Carell and Hathaway, it's that there's not much romantic chemistry between them (although they're fine as spy buddies). Then again, Adams and Feldon had the leisure of over 100 episodes to develop what Carell and Hathaway have to convey in less than two hours. Get Smart has its share of cameos. Bernie Koppell (the original Sigfried) has a blink-and-you'll-miss-it appearance. James Caan (who appeared in two Get Smart episodes) is the President. Bill Murray lives in a tree. And several other Saturday Night Live veterans show their faces.

The plot doesn't make a lot of sense - it has to do with KAOS getting its hands on nuclear weapons. As with the series, however, this is just a skeleton to be fleshed out by gags and physical comedy. While the original Get Smart was a fairly direct satire of the James Bond series, this movie version is more an updating of the TV series than a lampoon of spy movies. That sort of thing was done to death by Austin Powers and its sequels. One of the supporting thugs (Dalip Singh), however, appears to have been modeled after The Spy Who Loved Me's Jaws.

A lot of Get Smart is just plain silly, but that's okay because it's in keeping with the tone and intent of the TV series. The film is occasionally a little raunchy (as with a scene in which Max appears to be caught in a compromising position with an enemy agent) but there's nothing here that Brooks and Henry wouldn't have tried if '60s TV had permitted it. While a lot of Get Smart's humor is more likely to provoke smiles and chuckles than anything more explosive, there are instances when full-bellied laughter could result. The movie also pokes fun at one of my pet peeves: the use of "nucular" instead of "nuclear" by a top politician.

If Get Smart faces a hurdle, it could be that viewers are tiring of these TV-to-movie transitions (perhaps because so many have been so bad), and Get Smart lacks the cachet of some of its contemporaries. It is not widely available on DVD (only as an entire series box set from Time Life) and thus has not re-entered the popular culture of the 2000s the way so many older TV shows have. This is one instance, however, when a TV series-based movie rewards nostalgia without demanding it. Get Smart is funny enough in its own right to attract younger viewers while paying homage to its 40-year old predecessor. Director Peter Segal, whose resume includes several Adam Sandler movies, shows an understanding of what made people laugh in the context of the original Get Smart and applies that knowledge to this contemporary setting. Along with his actors, screenwriters, and the rest of the crew, he has made an enjoyable mid-summer night's comedy. Would you believe that?

Wanted

ACTION
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-27
Running Length: 1:50
MPAA Classification: R (Violence, Profanity, Nudity, Sexual Situations)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie, Terence Stamp, Thomas Kretschmann
Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Screenplay: Michael Brandt & Derek Haas and Chris Morgan, based on the comic book series by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones
Cinematography: Mitchell Amundsen
Music: Danny Elfman
U.S. Distributor: Universal Pictures

Wanted provides the jolt of adrenaline one expects from solid summer entertainment. It exists solely to keep the heart pounding as it shifts from one gear to the next, decelerating only when exposition demands a reduction in pace. The movie marries the superhero origin film with the revenge thriller, blending them with hints of the frenzied intensity embodied by 300 and the visual orchestrations of The Matrix. The storyline, while not Pulitzer material, is strong enough to keep the average viewer involved. But this is one of those experiences where the brain is not the primary organ engaged by what flashes on the screen in the darkness.

The backstory of Wanted postulates that there's a thousand-year old secret society of assassins called the Fraternity whose elite membership have an unsurpassed aptitude when it comes to killing. Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy), a mild-mannered accounts manager, is about to come face-to-face with the truth about his absentee father. Dear old Dad, it seems, was a member of the Fraternity and he passed his genes to his son. Now, following Dad's betrayal and murder at the hands of the renegade Cross (Thomas Kretschmann), the Fraternity wants Wesley to join their number. He is recruited by the head honcho, Sloan (Morgan Freeman), and the hard-to-resist and appropriately named Fox (Angelina Jolie). She has everything but her own news network. Wesley's training is hard-ass but, after a long montage that might as well be set to "Gonna Fly Now" or "Eye of the Tiger," he's ready to take his place alongside Fox and do some train surfing and lip locking.

One could argue that the most important passages in Wanted are among the calmest and most understated: the opening scenes of Wesley toiling away at the office, crammed into a cubicle under the thumb of an intolerant bully of a boss while his "best friend" sneaks away to screw Wesley's girlfriend. This is the part of the movie that humanizes him - that makes us feel like we know him. It's hard to identify with a guy who can slow time and fire a bullet that curves around a corner, but it's difficult not to empathize with someone who's working a dead-end job in a life that's going nowhere. There's a lot of razzle-dazzle and flash in Wanted; the only reason it means something is because we're rooting for Wesley.

Director Timur Bekmambetov showed in Night Watch that he knows how to do some arresting stuff with his cameras. The flaw with that film is its cold, clinical attitude toward the characters. Here, the approach is warmer and more inviting. Wesley represents our point of entry into this world where the laws of physics (and sometimes logic) have been suspended. He's the everyman who discovers he's more than he thought he was. He's Peter Parker with an attitude. And, face it, who wants Mary Jane Watson when you can have Fox?

Angelina Jolie has always oozed sex appeal, but she's never been able to match badass with dominatrix quite like this. Jolie doesn't have any qualms about showing off her body, nor should she, considering how well sculpted it is. James McAvoy's American accent is a little flawed, but his transformation from dweeb to assassin is believable. Morgan Freeman adds a touch of class to things (much as he does with nearly every movie he's in). There's something perversely delicious, however, about getting to hear Easy Reader say two of George Carlin's seven words that can't be spoken on television.

The action sequences are choreographed like dances of bullets, metal, blood, and sweat. Cars fly upside down at impossible angles. People treat the tops of speeding trains like race tracks. And there's blood and viscera everywhere. Wanted earns its R-rating with the tracking of every bullet as it rips through flesh, muscle, and bone. The film's debt to the The Matrix, with its slow-motion violence and general setup, is undeniable. 300 is also a forerunner. While there's no specific linkage to the story of the indomitable Spartans, there's a strong sense that those who appreciated the early 2007 hit will approve of Wanted. The stories may be vastly different but the vibe is similar.

The film's sense of style is going to capture the praise of some who might normally not applaud a summer movie fueled by adrenaline and testosterone. But Wanted manages to deliver what action fans crave while still maintaining a veneer of artfulness. There are times when the film is flat-out silly (such as the spinning car assassination), but that's part of the movie's charm. At its worst, Wanted is never boring. At its best, it can be damn close to intoxicating. One word, written without apology, describes it best: fun.

WALL-E

ANIMATED

United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-27
Running Length: 1:37
MPAA Classification: G (Nothing Objectionable)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: (voices) Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy, Sigourney Weaver, Fred Willard
Director: Andew Stanton
Screenplay: Andrew Stanton
Music: Thomas Newman
U.S. Distributor: Walt Disney Picturesatisfaction with full functionality.

Put simply, WALL-E is about as charming as movies get. In an animated marketplace where everything is starting to look and feel the same, WALL-E stands out because it exhibits a unique identity without losing its appeal to viewers of all ages. It's a romantic comedy where the principals are robots. It doesn't shy away from long passages without dialogue and it doesn't throw in catchy tunes and dazzling-but-pointless action sequences just to keep the younger component of the audience from becoming restless. WALL-E has a heart to equal many of the Pixar/Disney releases to precede it, including Toy Story and Finding Nemo (WALL-E's writer/director, Andrew Stanton, was involved in both), but a sensibility that is more mature. This is one of those recently rare animated films that adults can attend without children in tow. It's good family fare, to be sure, but it's more than an activity to spend some time with the kids. WALL-E is the best mainstream animated film since The Incredibles.

The first 30 minutes of WALL-E are virtually dialogue-free. Nearly 700 years in the future, Earth is an uninhabited wasteland. Pillars of trash taller than skyscrapers dot the city skylines and the planet is surrounded by a garbage belt. Pollution, not global warming, has driven all life into space. The robot WALL-E (voice of Ben Burtt) has remained behind, slowly doing his job day-in and day-out: collecting and compacting trash, then neatly stacking it. His only companion is an indestructible cockroach. Then, one day, WALL-E's ordered life is interrupted by the arrival of EVE (voice of Elissa Knight), a robot sent by a spaceship for indeterminate reasons. She's sleeker and more advanced than WALL-E, but he overcomes his initial fear of her and makes contact. They form a fragile bond - until EVE unexpectedly shuts down. WALL-E first tries to revive her, but when that doesn't work, he is satisfied with protecting her until her spaceship returns. Unwilling to lose his new friend so quickly, WALL-E hitches a ride and soon learns the fate of those who abandoned Earth so many years ago.

As WALL-E starts, it looks much different from the average Pixar film. Instead of the vibrant colors we have become accustomed to, this movie is suffused with browns. This is, after all, a post apocalyptic world where almost all life has ceased. By limiting the artists' palettes, Stanton creates a world that is both alien and familiar, and one that indicates from the start that this isn't going to be "business as usual." The music is also atypical for a Disney animated movie. Instead of jovial tunes by Phil Collins or Alan Menken, we have excerpts from "Hello Dolly!" (WALL-E has an old VHS tape of the musical that he watches repeatedly), Louis Armstrong's "Le Vie en Rose," and "Thus Spake Zarathustra" (popularly known as the "Theme from 2001").

Central to WALL-E's narrative is the "romance" between the lead character and EVE. What's amazing about the way these two interact is that the animators are able to humanize them through tiny gestures. Neither has a real face and they rarely speak anything more than electronic approximations of their names, yet we grow to care for them as deeply as we might any flesh-and-blood couple facing impossible odds in a live-action movie. The task for the animators is even more challenging here than in Cars, because at least in that film the automobiles were given human features and personalities. Here, WALL-E and EVE intentionally remain alien and robotic. Watching the way in which these two interact is the movie's chief pleasure - from WALL-E's initial fear of Eve, to her exasperation with him when she realizes he has stowed away on board the ship and is creating havoc, to her eventual fear for his safety. WALL-E and EVE are a great screen couple.

The film sounds a couple of cautionary notes. The first is the old-school ecological message of what a consumption-based society can do to a planet when pollution runs unchecked. The second relates to what happens to human beings when they become so lazy that all they do is lie around being waited on by robots. One of WALL-E's big heroic moments is when a futuristic human being, the captain of a space ship (Jeff Garlin) literally stands up to the movie's version of HAL. (One wonders whether the Captain's first name, which is not given, might be Dave.)

The presence of serious (or at least semi-serious) subjects does not dilute WALL-E's comedic aptitude. The film contains its share of funny sequences, many of which are entwined in the unlikely courtship between WALL-E and EVE. There's also some humor to be found in the antics of a pair of humans (voiced by John Ratzenberger and Kathy Najimy) becoming aware of their circumstances. Overall, WALL-E does a superior job of balancing its elements, although it comes up a little short on the "science" aspect of science fiction. The film replaces the real laws of physics with cartoon replicas.

Pixar's most recent two features, Cars and Ratatouille, have been fine examples of animated fare, but WALL-E raises the bar and reminds viewers of the not-so-long-ago era in which every new computer animated film was a revelation. WALL-E doesn't rely on gimmicks like 3-D and it doesn't look like a glorified advertisement for a video game. This movie possesses a vibrant heart and a solid story. The characters, despite being made of metal and having circuit boards for brains, are more human than the average protagonist in a summer blockbuster. There are numerous reasons to see WALL-E but the most compelling of these is that it recaptures a motion picture magic that is too often missing from the high-tech playpens called multiplex auditoriums.

Rush Hour 3

ACTION/COMEDY
United States, 2007
U.S. Release Date: 8/10/07 (wide)
Running Length: 1:30
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Profanity, sexual content, violence)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

Cast: Jackie Chan, ChrisTucker, Hiroyuki Sanada, Noemie Lenoir, Max von Sydow, Yvan Attal
Director: Brett Ratner
Screenplay: Jeff Nathanson
Cinematography: J. Michael Muro
Music: Lalo Schifrin
U.S. Distributor: New Line Cinema

It's hard to think of a sadder commentary about Hollywood's sequel fetish than the existence of Rush Hour 3. Dull, uninspired, and redundant, this third pointless movie in an action/comedy franchise that defines mediocrity doesn't even try to disguise the fact that its existence is a money-grab. I wasn't a fan of either previous Rush Hour film, but neither felt as tired and obligatory as this one. Aside from some amusing scenes with Chris Tucker and a nice déjà vu dance routine to "War" performed by Tucker and Jackie Chan, this movie offers nothing that wasn't done better in the other outings featuring these mismatched buddy cops.

The wafer-thin plot has Chief Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) protecting a Chinese diplomat during his stay in Los Angeles. He has top-secret information about the Triad crime syndicate but, before he can divulge it, he is shot. Lee, reunited with his former partner, Detective James Carter (Chris Tucker), vows to the consul's daughter, Soo Yung (Zhang Jingchu), that he will find the man who attacked her father. To do this, Lee and Carter must pursue Triad assassin Kenji (Hiroyuki Sanada) to Paris, where they are aided by an anti-American cab driver named George (Yvan Attal), who discovers that he has a taste for car chases and gunplay.

As was true of Rush Hour and Rush Hour 2, this movie combines hit-and-miss comedy with lackluster action. The film doesn't have much of a pulse, and the "excitement" comes across as pallid when compared to last week's The Bourne Ultimatum (although at least the camera isn't afflicted with the shakes). This movie is probably no more amusing than its predecessors, although it's hard to be sure. Nothing in any of the Rush Hour products has been roll-on-the-floor funny, and this one is no different. Especially lame is a riff on "Who's on First" that proves the stars of this movie have nothing on Abbot and Costello. There's also a parody of emotional moments in buddy movies featuring Elton John's "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word." Maybe that's supposed to be an apology to the audience by Brett Ratner. Also consider a scene featuring a lot of raw sewage that may on some level be a comment about where the franchise is headed.

On of the many areas in which the movie disappoints (although, all things considered, it isn't unexpected), it's in the lack of physicality displayed by Jackie Chan. At age 53, he can no longer perform the kinds of stunts that made him an international star. Putting life and limb at risk in the line of duty are things for younger men. Most of Chan's most daring work has been passed on to stunt-men and there are hints of CGI (although not to the point where it's distracting). The end-credit outtakes, which are typically a horror show of Chan's muffed stunts, are limited here to verbal bloopers, messed-up lines, and the occasional minor pratfall. Chan's gift for comedy appears as muted as his martial arts derring-do. At no time during Rush Hour 3 is he especially funny. My assumption has been that as Chan aged, he would gravitate more toward comedy, but this isn't a good start.

Chris Tucker picks up a nice paycheck but none of the slack. However, while it's a stretch to call him "likable," at least he's not as irritating as he was in Rush Hour and Rush Hour 2. Both Chan and Tucker are outmaneuvered in the comedy department by Yvan Attal, whose character's love/hate relationship with American culture leads to some of the film's wittiest (and I use that word loosely) scenes. Max von Sydow, in "concealed bad guy" mode, is on hand to do what he does best with that glorious bass voice. (Now that Bergman is officially in his grave, he can turn over.) And Roman Polanksi has a cameo as a French policeman who anally rapes Lee and Carter. (Yes, you read that correctly. A PG-13 movie features anal rape - although, of course, it's only implied and is used to get a laugh.) Why Polanski would agree to play this part is anyone's guess; it's not the kind of thing that will help his less-than-sterling reputation. I kept waiting for Jean Reno to show up, since he always seems on hand in these English-speaking films set in France.

Does Rush Hour 3 deliver what audiences expect of it? Only its most devoted fans will say "yes." The formula is in place but the performers are going through the motions. It's a stale version of the previous movies, and they weren't all that great to begin with. One could argue that director Brett Ratner at least invested Rush Hour with some energy. Even during the climactic battle at the Eiffel Tower, there's nothing resembling that here. This is just another disposable summer movie - so lackluster that it's not even worth searching out when it plays on television. The Rush Hour experience, which never attained anything resembling full speed, has come to a crashing halt.

Hot Fuzz

ACTION COMEDY
United Kingdom, 2007
U.S. Release Date: 4/20/07 (wide)
Running Length: 2:03
MPAA Classification: R (Violence, profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

Cast: Simon Pegg, Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton, Nick Frost
Director: Edgar Wright
Screenplay: Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright
Cinematography: Jess Hall
Music: David Arnold
U.S. Distributor: Rogue Pictures

It has been remarked by more than one critic that the action comedy can be one of the easiest movies to make poorly and one of the most difficult to make effectively. The problem is evident: comedy and action often war with one another, each trying to steal the spotlight at the expense of the other. If there's too much humor or the jokes are too fatuous, the action feels extraneous. And if the film is slanted toward action, the comedy can feel out of place and, if poorly executed, can kill the momentum. The team of Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, the guys who combined guffaws and gore in Shaun of the Dead, have elected to follow their offbeat zombie farce with an action comedy. Considering their earlier success, it is perhaps unsurprising that they have gotten it mostly right. Hot Fuzz is a little too long and suffers from a sagging midsection when the level of exposition becomes laborious, but the spectacularly entertaining final 30 minutes compensates for a lot of flaws.

One key element that Wright and Pegg nail is to develop characters we care about and situations that, while not breathtakingly compelling, are at least interesting. While there have been plenty of exceptions throughout the years (48 Hours, True Lies, and so forth…), the generic action comedy cannot boast either quality. Often, action scenes are just flashy ways to pad out things between the jokes and the protagonists are thinly drawn caricatures. Given the backing of someone with money, it's easy enough to make those soulless, by-the-numbers comedies and we see a few every year. Attempting and succeeding at something more ambitious is the mark of an interesting filmmaker. In the end, Hot Fuzz does for the action comedy what Shaun of the Dead did for the horror comedy.

Sergeat Nicholas Angel (Pegg) is the ultimate cop. He's so good that his superiors in London have him transferred to the tiny burb of Sandford because his superlative record is making his co-workers look bad. He arrives in the village and immediately begins applying the letter of the law to every circumstance. Angel's laid-back superior, Inspector Frank Butterman (Jim Broadbent), encourages the newcomer to relax and partners him with his bumbling son, Danny (Nick Frost). Danny is enthused but naïve and bombards Angel with questions about his big-city police exploits. Has he ever fired guns in both hands? Has he ever fired a gun while leaping through the air? Has he ever fired a gun while involved in a high speed pursuit? Police work in Sandford is comprised of momentous events like chasing down a missing swan or rebuking a man illegally clipping a neighbor's hedges, but a sudden rash of deaths gives the police something new to investigate. Everyone assumes they're accidents except Angel, who believes they are murders orchestrated by the Machiavellian Simon Skinner (Timothy Dalton), who owns the local grocery store and is scheming to increase the scope of his empire.

Hot Fuzz relies so heavily on character and plot development that it takes an overlong 90 minutes before things start getting outrageous. That's not to say the setup is without merit, but the humor during these sequences is more restrained than what comes later. There are plenty of subtle jabs, visual gags, and a few high profile cameos (Cate Blanchett, Peter Jackson, Bill Nighy). The wink-wink-nudge-nudge "buddy" relationship between partners Angel and Danny is developed in such a way that it mimics the formula of a romantic liaison without ever straying beyond the platonic. This is part of the parody. These two never whisper sweet nothings or engage in anything that might disturb homophobes, but they fall asleep on the couch next to each other after watching movies on TV and Angel later buys flowers for Danny. The movie has fun toying with this dynamic.

Then, 30 minutes before the film winds down, all hell breaks loose. The filmmakers pull out the stops and satirize every imaginable cliché of the genre, throwing in visual references to dozens of contemporary cop movies. John Woo, Quentin Tarantino, and Clint Eastwood collide in a hail of gunfire as the fuzz go in, guns blazing, to reclaim the grocery store and the town from the nefarious do-badders who have taken possession of it. And just because this is a comedy doesn't mean Wright shies from gore. The impaling of one character is shown in the most graphic manner possible. There are no sacred cows, either. Priests blaspheme and an old woman gets kicked in the face.

Pegg is note-perfect as the tough cop who begins to show signs of humanity before donning the dark glasses and arming himself with more ammo than Rambo. Nick Frost couldn't be better cast as the wimpy sidekick who grows a backbone under Angel's tutelage. Jim Broadbent brings a genial, paternal quality to his role as Inspector Butterman, and there's a great scene in which he snaps into focus and takes charge. Timothy Dalton's villain will remind viewers more of his role in The Rocketeer than his short tour-of-duty as the world's most famous superspy.

Hot Fuzz is the second police satire to arrive in theaters this year and it is vastly superior to Reno 911. That earlier film is an example of what happens when a movie uses lame material to tie together an uneven string of jokes. Hot Fuzz has a higher agenda, and it shows. This movie wants to tickle the funny bone while telling a story that's worth telling. For the most part, Wright achieves this aim. A slightly trimmed down Hot Fuzz might have provided a more heady brew, but even with a little more fat than is necessary, this one offers enjoyable fare with more than one masterful course.

Bee Movie

ANIMATED
United States, 2007
U.S. Release Date: 11/2/07 (wide)
Running Length: 1:25
MPAA Classification: PG
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1

Cast (voices): Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Kathy Bates, Barry Levinson
Directors: Steve Hickner, Simon J. Smith
Screenplay: Jerry Seinfeld and Spike Feresten & Barry Marder & Andy Robin
Music: Rupert Gregson-Williams
U.S. Distributor: Dreamworks

The press notes for Bee Movie indicate that Jerry Seinfeld came up with the title before he had an inkling what the story might be. Having seen the film, I can believe that. As befits something from Seinfeld's pen, the screenplay contains a smattering of amusing one-liners, but the plot sputters before dead-ending. It's a little weird and a little subversive, but mostly it's just dull. Moreover, while adults may get something out of Bee Movie, it's hard to understand what it has to offer to kids besides the flashy animation and a couple of video game-inspired sequences. On the whole, this is another disappointing animated effort and it resides considerably lower on the totem pole than this year's current non-live action champion, Ratatouille.

As is the case with many animated movies, this one starts by taking us into a non-human society where all the creatures have taken on human characteristics. This time, it's a bee hive, and some of the parallels are clever. Since bees don't live very long, their entire time in school is nine days (three for grammar school, three for high school, three for college). They never take vacations. And conformity is not merely a desirable characteristic, it's a necessary one. That's too bad for maverick Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld), whose insatiable wanderlust leads him out of the hive and into the wild world. On his first foray, he almost gets himself killed but is saved by Vanessa (Renee Zellweger), a human woman who owns a flower shop. She is charmed - not to mention a little startled - by the talking bee, and the two of them strike up a friendship. This liaison leads to complications, however, when Barry accompanies Vanessa to a supermarket and discovers that humans are stealing honey from bees. His solution: file a lawsuit accusing the human race of theft. While this allows for some satirizing of the legal system and results in the best line (a mosquito explaining why he's a lawyer), it's where Bee Movie goes into a tailspin.

The movie tries with limited success to incorporate elements that will keep children (and adults) from becoming restless. Since there's really no action to speak of, the animators trump up a little, such as a car ride in the bee hive that's like a roller coaster. Or a short sequence when Vanessa's friend Ken (Patrick Warburton) tries to do in Barry. There are also no song-and-dance numbers, although the film sneaks in "Here Comes the Sun" and provides Sting with a cameo. Most of the humor is Seinfeld-dry and the storyline isn't the kind of thing that's going to enthrall many viewers, regardless of their age. It's just not interesting enough. It's possible to enjoy the movie's satirical bent without becoming enamored of the project as a whole. Bee Movie also has the requisite big-mouthed sidekick (think "Donkey" from Shrek). In this case it's Chris Rock's mosquito named Mooseblood, but his limited screen presence makes him instantly forgettable.

The animation and voice work fall into the "nothing special" category. The CGI is nice but not the kind of thing that's going to have viewers staring agog at the screen. Ratatouille and even Shrek the Third have offered more impressive visuals this year. The directors both have experience in the field, with Steve Hickner having been in charge of Prince of Egypt and Simon J. Smith having helmed Shrek 4-D (the 12-minute theme ride attraction at Universal Orlando), so everything is technically sound. On the vocal side, Seinfeld is an odd choice for the lead role because his voice is so recognizable. It's impossible to look at Barry and not see Jerry. Better selections are Renee Zellweger and Matthew Broderick (as Barry's bff - bee friend forever) - they successfully submerge themselves into their roles.

The film has a moral of sorts, but it's not the kind of thing with a strong real-life application. It's about the importance of bees in the life cycle of the planet. I suppose if one wanted to stretch things a bit, a point could be extrapolated about climate change and global warming, but I'm not sure that's what Seinfeld and company had in mind. The film also has some unflattering things to say about lawyers and the legal system - all of which seem perfectly reasonable, if a little tame, as far as I can tell.

It's fair to argue that Bee Movie ventures onto a road less taken. Certainly, I can't think of another movie in which a talking insect has dragged the entire human race before a judge whose voice is provided by Oprah Winfrey. Nevertheless, while there's something to be prized about uniqueness in a motion picture, that quality is only an asset when it enhances the overall entertainment value - something not evident here. Bee Movie will generate some box office interest because of Seinfeld's heavy involvement, because it is being relentlessly promoted, and because it is an animated feature starring a cute little bee. But it's hard to imagine the picture generating better than mediocre word of mouth. While it has value as a passable diversion, this is ultimately yet another disappointing animated feature in an every-widening pool of them. At least this time it appears that the cause is an offbeat sensibility rather than the laziness and greed that have characterized so many others.

Blood Diamond

United States, 2006
U.S. Release Date: 12/8/06 (wide)
Running Length: 2:23
MPAA Classification: R (Violence, profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Connelly, Djimon Hounsou, Arnold Vosloo, Ntare Mwine, Caruso Kuypers
Director: Edward Zwick
Screenplay: Charles Leavitt
Cinematography: Eduardo Serra
Music: James Newton Howard
U.S. Distributor: Warner Brothers

To an extent, Blood Diamond is a victim of its own length. While the film includes a number of disturbing political and sociological insights, the adventure story is tepid and loses momentum as the storyline bogs down. The main character, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, has an effective arc that is believable because it does not force him to act contrary to his nature, but it takes a long time for Blood Diamond to get us to DiCaprio's moment of recognition. Pacing issues aside, this is a well constructed movie - clearly the product of a director who understands how to make a top-notch motion picture. It looks great and sounds great. If only Edward Zwick's mastery of the medium had extended to pruning the screenplay and editing the final result, Blood Diamond might have been a tremendous film rather than one worthy of only a lukewarm recommendation.

The story takes place in 1999 Sierra Leone, when the country is embroiled in a civil war. In this struggle, it's hard to determine which side is worse: the government or the rebels. As is often the case in this sort of bloodbath, atrocities abound and it's the innocent farmers and villagers caught in between who pay the price. Diamonds, one of the country's largest exportable commodities, are being smuggled out and purchased on the open market despite a supposed international ban on the purchase of so-called "conflict diamonds" or "blood diamonds." This historical background (which is more complicated as presented in the movie) is accurate, although the three primary characters embroiled in events are fictional.

Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) is a loving husband and father who lives a peaceful existence on a farm in an out-of-the-way community in Sierra Leone. He sends his young son, Dia (Caruso Kuypers), to a school to learn English so the boy will grow up to have a better life. One day, terror comes to Solomon's village when the rebels arrive and kill or capture nearly everyone living there. Solomon's family is ripped from him and he is sent to work harvesting diamonds. While sifting through sand from a shallow river bottom, he discovers a 100-karat pink diamond, which he initially hides then later buries. Shortly thereafter, he is captured during a government raid and sent to jail. While there, he encounters South African "soldier of fortune" Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio), who makes a deal with Solomon: for the diamond, he will help the man find his wife and children. To achieve this aim, Archer goes for help to American journalist Maddy Brown (Jennifer Connelly), whose price for aid is a tell-all expose from Archer about how "dirty" diamonds are laundered to appear clean to the world market, and how much culpability the London diamond merchants have.

That's a gross oversimplification of what happens during Blood Diamond's first 45 minutes. This is a narratively dense picture that requires constant attention from the audience. As an action/adventure tale, the film has its high points, but there are times when the movie feels like it's spinning its wheels. Director Edward Zwick (Glory, The Last Samurai) is no stranger to epic films, but none of his previous features have felt as long as this one.

The film is uncompromising in the way it depicts the Sierra Leone conflict (which is fundamentally similar to the many wars that have recently dotted the African continent). We see the mass slaughter of innocents as both the government and the rebels mow down men, women, and children indiscriminately. We see how the rebels recruit young boys, indoctrinate them through torture and drug use, and turn them into hardened killers. Patriotism is equated with a high body count. There's something disturbing about the sight of a ten-year old boy firing an automatic rifle into a crowd of unarmed, panicked people. Blood Diamond is as effective in depicting the corruption of innocents as it is in showing the harrowing hell of this kind of war. It also highlights the greed and manipulation that characterizes the international diamond market.

Two of the three characters are well developed. Archer has the most complete arc. Thankfully, he never loses his "me first" attitude, but we come to understand how it has developed and we see a gradual softening of some of his morals. It's a solid performance from Leonardo DiCaprio, who has grown into this sort of "gritty" role and is more believable after having been seen dancing on the dark side in The Departed. This is not the same actor who set young female hearts aflutter ten years ago. He has discovered a measure of gravitas.

Unlike Archer, Solomon doesn't have an arc. He's single-minded in his focus: find his wife, two daughters, and son. His passion drives the movie forward; when Blood Diamond has urgency, it's because of him. Djimon Hounsou is volcanic in this role. Less substantive is the part of Maddy Brown, who's in less than half of the movie (she is absent from the final third). Jennifer Connelly does the best she can with the clichéd part of an idealistic journalist, but the writing isn't there and Maddy ends up being largely forgettable - a character necessitated by the plot rather than a living, breathing human being. At least there's the hint of a spark between Connelly and DiCaprio, which keeps things interesting when they're together.

Blood Diamond is a mixed bag - a movie that has its share of stark, unforgettable moments but whose substance never fully gels. Despite the participation of two marquee topping actors and the strength of the director's resume, it's hard to imagine there's much of an audience for a movie fueled more by the politics of African atrocities than the adrenaline and testosterone cocktail that typically characterizes this sort of film. The film's length works against it, but there's enough here to warrant a recommendation, even if it's not the most enthusiastic one I have ever given to a Zwick production.

Ghost Rider

ACTION/ADVENTURE
United States, 2007
U.S. Release Date: 2/16/07 (wide)
Running Length: 1:45
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Violence)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1 Cast: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Peter Fonda, Wes Bentley, Donal Logue, Sam Elliott
Director: Mark Steven Johnson
Screenplay: Mark Steven Johnson
Cinematography: Russell Boyd, John Wheeler
Music: Christopher Young
U.S. Distributor: Columbia Picture

In the world of comic books, there are A-list titles and B-list titles. For the movie adaptations, it's easy to tell the two apart. The B-list films feature characters who are not universally recognizable, typically do not command huge budgets, and are released outside of the prime summer months of May through July. Ghost Rider is such a movie. Despite an incredibly silly premise, the comic was popular at one time, possibly because of the cool image presented by the title character. With its cheesy special effects and blasphemously imbecilic storyline, one wonders whether the celluloid version of Ghost Rider will find an audience.

Comic books and theology rarely mix and, when they do, it's usually not a comfortable mélange. This is the case with Ghost Rider, in which the unlikely scenario occurs whereby a servant of Satan becomes the apparent weapon of God. To further muddle things, the Devil isn't really that bad, at least when compared to his son, Blackheart. Most of the time, stories about characters who sell their souls to Mephistopheles have a moral. In this case, it's that God gives second chances to those who save the human race from supernatural annihilation. Daniel Webster he isn't.

As a young man, Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage) makes a pact with the Devil (Peter Fonda). It's a simple deal: Johnny gives up his soul and Prince of Evil cures Johnny's father of cancer. Years later, Johnny is the world's top stuntman, a modern-day Evel Knievel - except he emerges alive and unscathed from even the most insane motorcycle jumps. He can't die - the Devil owns him. For decades, Mephistopheles leaves Johnny alone. But when Satan's son, Blackheart (Wes Bentley), decides to make Earth his dominion, Johnny becomes Ghost Rider - a leather clad biker with a flaming skull for a head. His duty: defeat Blackheart and his three minions, save Johnny's old flame, Roxanne (Eva Mendes), from the clutches of evil, and return balance to the world.

By now, anyone reading this has probably gotten the idea that Ghost Rider isn't in the same league as Spider-Man, The X-Men, Superman, or Batman (unless we're referring to the Man of Steel in Superman IV or the Caped Crusader in Batman and Robin). Maybe this "origin story" worked in the pages of the Ghost Rider comic book (I never was much of a fan, truth be told), but it's laughable on screen. Admittedly, one expects a certain level of preposterousness from a superhero story, but this film is far too silly to be taken seriously on any level. And the pedestrian predictability of the action sequences isn't a saving factor. Watch as Ghost Rider battles the minions one-by-one before facing off against Blackheart at the climax.

Nicolas Cage plays Johnny with an off-kilter intensity that makes for a strangely sympathetic portrayal. Eva Mendes is effective in the girlfriend role, although it doesn't take much to satisfy the requirements: act amazed when confronted with the truth, get captured and need rescuing, and have a sexy/macho shot that will cause heart palpitations for teenage male viewers. These two don't have the chemistry of a Peter Parker and Mary Jane or a Lois and Clark, but they'll do in a pinch. Meanwhile, Peter Fonda wears makeup that causes him to look embalmed while providing a voice that sounds like a bad Clint Eastwood impersonation. And Sam Elliott has a small part that would take about five paragraphs to explain. His most notable contribution is that he has the perfect voice for the voiceover narration.

This is director Mark Steven Johnson's second foray into the realm of Marvel B-list heroes. He previously directed Ben Affleck in 2003's Daredevil, another February release. The earlier movie had fewer special effects, which is probably a good thing since what's on display in Ghost Rider isn't impressive. With new Spider-Man and Fantastic Four movies just around the corner, superhero fans don't have to rely on this feature for their fix. That's fortunate because Ghost Rider is an unholy mess.

Transformers (2007)

SCIENCE FICTION
United States, 2007
U.S. Release Date: 7/3/07 (wide)
Running Length: 2:15
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Violence, profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Rachael Taylor, Anthony Andersen, Jon Voight, John Turturro
Director: Michael Bay
Screenplay: Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman
Cinematography: Mitchell Amundsen
Music: Steve Jablonsky
U.S. Distributor: Dreamworks SKG

When it comes to Transformers, I have no ax to grind, pro or con. For me, it's just another loud, plot-deficient summer motion picture. In this case, nostalgia doesn't grip me - I'm too old to have played with the gadgets or watched the cartoon. I'm sure many fanboys (and girls) will be delighted by what Michael Bay has done to update the Transformers mythos (basically, that means incorporating A-level special effects and blowing lots of things up). On the other hand, those with no particular emotional attachment to the toys and their multimedia offshoots may dislike this movie as much as I did.

Thus far, the summer of 2007 has been full of very loud, very unsatisfying action movies. Transformers tops them all - it's louder, flashier, and more hollow than anything else out there. At 135 minutes, it drags - sometimes painfully so. The movie is top-heavy with exposition, and the only decent action scenes occur in the final 25 minutes. Despite an epileptic camera, those sequences are impressive from a special effects point-of-view, but they aren't exciting. That's because the characters are so poorly developed and the Transformers so singularly uninteresting that the question of who wins or loses doesn't matter. All the effort behind Transformers went into making the robots look cool; nothing went into developing a compelling storyline. Even the headline bout between Optimus Prime and Megatron is pedestrian - two big metallic monsters slugging it out while the camera spins around them as if out of control. It's kind of reminiscent of the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots going at it.

The film tells of the struggle between the good guy Autobots and the bad guy Decepticons as they scour Earth in search of the fabled Allspark (a really big cube of power). The goal of the Decepticons and their leader, Megatron, is to seize the cube as a means of domination and control. The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, want to protect humanity by destroying the Allspark. A secret segment of the U.S. military, Sector Seven, has captured the Allspark and is hiding it deep inside the Hoover Dam. They also have a cryogenically frozen Megatron in custody. (I know that all sounds silly, and it is, but short descriptions of science fiction films often come across as childish.)

Shia LaBeouf, who's as hot as any young working male star, plays Sam Witwicky, a high school boy who becomes involved in this situation because his grandfather's glasses contain a clue to the Allspark's location. His father buys him a car for graduation and it turns out to be Bumblebee, an Autobot. For all the time that the movie spends on developing Sam's home life - including giving him a mother, a father, school rivals, and a hot girlfriend (Megan Fox) - the character remains surprisingly lifeless. LaBeouf's performance is charming and earnest but he never made me care about Sam. The intent is to make this an average guy who becomes heroic after being thrust into extraordinary circumstances, but the movie doesn't get us there.

The movie gets a badly needed jolt of energy a little past the half-way point with the introduction of a zany John Turturro as Sector Seven Agent Simmons. Turturro's off-the-wall performance is in synch with what one might expect from a movie that is essentially one long product placement. In fact, the entire first segment with Simmons (from when he enters Sam's house until he has "first contact" with the Transformers) works better as comedy than anything else. Alas, another veteran actor in the cast, Jon Voight, doesn't fare as well as Turturro. The word "embarrassing" was defined for performances like this one. Voight plays the Secretary of Defense. I kept waiting for Leslie Nielsen to show up as the President.

There's a secondary plot involving a group of young analysts and hackers that goes nowhere. Despite absorbing roughly 20 minutes of screen time, there's no payoff for these characters and they pretty much vanish near the end. Their inclusion is baffling since they appear to serve no purpose beyond padding out the film's running length and providing occasional comedy relief (most of which comes courtesy of Anthony Andersen). Cutting out these characters wouldn't damage the film's integrity. In fact, the tighter focus might make for a better movie.

If the dialogue is anything to go by, Bay has a sense of humor. Not only does he take a moment to poke fun at one of his earlier hit movies, but he allows so many howlingly bad lines to be spoken that the level of self-parody has to be intentional. Transformers is a jumble of the good, the bad, and the ugly, with the latter two categories outweighing the former. The film has a lot of nice touches (such as the opening attack in Qatar, where there is a sense of danger, and the John Hughes-inspired introduction of Sam), but the meat of the story is plodding, recycled sci-fi drivel. That, I suppose, is what happens when a major motion picture is based on a 20-plus year old toy phenomenon.

Transformers is so belabored that it makes Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End seem like a masterpiece of pacing. It makes that "classic" midsummer alien invasion movie, Independence Day, seem like a template for inventive plotting and solid character development. Even by Michael Bay standards, this movie is vapid. Yes, there are plenty of explosions, but those are a dime-a-dozen these days; even Discovery Channel's Mythbusters has them. Transformers isn't clean, big-budget fun; it's clean, big-budget tedium. For Transformers fans, I suppose this is a dream motion picture. For everyone else, it's a nightmare.