Thursday, July 3, 2008

Hancock

Hancock is a hodgepodge of intriguing ideas that, if developed further or presented as more than throw-ins to a confused production, might have made for a unique superhero film. The resulting movie, however, shows all the signs of studio interference and never establishes a clear identity or tone. To the extent that Hancock works, it's largely because of Will Smith, whose performance is stronger than what this otherwise scattershot production deserves. Hancock is sometimes funny, sometimes clever, and occasionally involving, but it's never brilliant and its edge is compromised by the neutering that accompanies the teen-friendly PG-13 rating.

Imagine Superman as an alcoholic misanthrope and you've got John Hancock (Will Smith), a downtrodden man with superpowers who just doesn't give a damn. His life philosophy is encapsulated by one word: "asshole." That's what he thinks of everyone and that's what they think of him. Hancock's rescues often turn into fiascos. On one occasion, he gets the bad guys but, in the process, causes $9 million in collateral damage. On another occasion, he saves a guy from getting hit by a freight train but, in the process, damages a few automobiles and causes the train to derail. Life is like that for Hancock. The D.A. wants him behind bars (the kind found in prison - not the kind he's familiar with) and he's being sued by seemingly half the people in the city. He's always got a bottle in his hand and even the kids who could be cheering him are calling him an "asshole."

Things start to change when he saves Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) from the train. Ray, the proprietor of his own floundering P.R. business, recognizes Hancock's shortcomings but believes that, with a little image makeover, Hancock can become a beloved figure. The image reformation comes with a price tag, however: a prison stint, rehab, a shave, and a cheesy costume. Meanwhile, Ray's wife, Mary (Charlize Theron), and Hancock are exchanging meaningful glances, hinting at a past connection. And, while Hancock appears to be invulnerable, everyone knows that all Supermen have their Kryptonites.

Hancock is two films. The first, the tale of the anti-hero learning to be a defender of Truth, Justice, and the American Way, is by far the more entertaining of the two. The movie's second piece is muddled and disjointed as the screenplay provides revelations about Hancock's origin. This aspect of the production has the scope of a Shakespearean tragedy and cannot effectively be addressed in the 45 minutes allotted to it. Both halves could have worked if properly expanded with the gaps filled in, but by compressing them into a single unit, the story as a whole suffers.

Hancock's opening segments occasionally call to mind the likes of the Arnold Schwarzenegger spoof, Last Action Hero, and the Pixar animated superhero movie, The Incredibles. The film, credited to director Peter Berg, has that sort of sensibility as it works to demythologize the superhero. Hancock is indeed the perfect asshole and there are plenty of opportunities for comedy. Smith, the consummate professional, wrings as much humor as he can from these situations, so there are laughs to be had. There's also a sense that someone other than Berg has his fingerprints on this project. A lot of the material is R-rated but it has been cut and cropped and shot in such a way that it can get away with a PG-13. There's something fundamentally dishonest about taking inherently adult material and chipping away at it until it's tame enough to be suitable for all ages.

Hancock's tone becomes more subdued, although not entirely downbeat, during the second half as the main character faces the sad truth about himself and his past. The ending is a complete mess. In order to achieve a balance between tension, tragedy, and smiles, the film doesn't play by its own rules. Much of what occurs during the climax makes little sense, and the supposed "villain," a thug named Red (Eddie Marsan), is about as intimidating as a warm cup of butterscotch pudding. Part of the inherent problem with Hancock's structure is the lack of a dramatically viable opponent. Since there isn't one, one has to be manufactured on the spot, and Red is the unfortunate result.

Will Smith's charisma is Hancock's single most important asset. All things being equal, we would not like Hancock. But we're primed to like Smith. This means that we end up rooting for the anti-hero to become a hero rather than wishing he would be swallowed up in a supernova. Only an actor of Smith's likeability could pull this off. Playing the too-good-to-be-true Ray, Jason Bateman is no less charming but a lot less imposing. This is a variation of his Juno persona. Charlize Theron is fine as Mary, but the character is mishandled from the beginning and Theron's second-billing status exacerbates matters. We know that an actor of her stature and caliber isn't going to play a simple housewife. Because this is Charlize Theron, those glances mean a lot more than a playful flirtation (or even an impending affair). Putting her in this movie is tantamount to erecting a blinking neon sign indicating that there's more to Mary than meets the eye. Cast a star of lesser magnitude in the role and Hancock might have been able keep this particular "twist" obscured. At the very least, it wouldn't have been obvious from the beginning.

Despite all the flaws and the frustrating sense that the movie could have offered a lot more than it actually does, Hancock is nevertheless a moderately enjoyable experience. It's a glass half-full/half-empty sort of thing. So far, this summer has seen a superior superhero movie (Iron Man), a solid one (The Incredible Hulk), and now this. Hancock is the worst of the three, but it's nowhere near the bottom of the genre. It works a lot better as a comedy/satire than as an action/adventure story, but its inability to emphasize the former elements over the latter hamstrings its appeal. An uncertainty about identity becomes not only the hero's problem, but the movie's as well.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

COMEDY
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-06
Running Length: 1:53
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Sexual Situations, Profanity, Nudity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Cast: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Nick Swardson, Lainie Kazan, Ido Mosseri, Rob Schneider, Michael Buffer
Director: Dennis Dugan
Screenplay: Adam Sandler & Robert Smigel & Judd Apatow
Cinematography: Michael Barrett
Music: Rupert Gregson-Williams
U.S. Distributor: Columbia Pictures

Watching You Don't Mess with the Zohan is a little like watching an episode of the TV show of which Adam Sandler is an alum: Saturday Night Live. Zohan feels like an extended collection of skits tied together by a flimsy umbrella story. It features cameos by second-tier celebrities (George Takei, John McEnroe) and has a musical "guest" (Mariah Carey). As is too often the case with today's SNL, humor is at a premium, a lot of supposedly "clever" material isn't remotely funny, and the whole thing feels like it should be over a lot sooner than it is. The result is another flabby comedy that gets its biggest laughs from thinly-covered penises and bare buttocks.

On some level, Zohan wants viewers to believe it's entering "daring" waters by its application of politically incorrect comedy to socio-political issues. (One wonders whether the filmmakers thought they were following in Borat's footsteps.) So it lampoons various aspects of Judaism, the Middle East conflict, homosexuality (central to Sandler's previous outing, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry), and which wives of the current crop of Presidential candidates (or, in one case, the candidate herself) are "bang-able." The problem is that while this material may be outlandish and in questionable taste, it's not funny. Maybe there's a chuckle to be found in how many uses the characters find for hummus, but like many of the jokes in Zohan, this one is beaten until it's far past the point of death. Sandler does this a lot here: uncovers something amusing then repeatedly goes back to it until it has become tedious. In many ways, that's a description of the production as a whole.

Zohan (Sandler) is an Israeli James Bond who loves disco dancing and secretly dreams of moving to New York and becoming a hair stylist. He's fed up of the never-ending Middle East conflict and just wants to live in peace where he can enjoy hummus and Fizzy Bubbly, and make everyone's hair silky smooth. A battle with his arch enemy, The Phantom (John Turturro), allows Zohan to fake his own death. He then escapes to New York where he changes his look and name (now "Scrappy Coco") and goes to work for a Palestinian hairdresser named Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), whose accent is almost as bad as his. He graduates from unpaid sweeper to star stylist, as his sensual manner of washing women's hair (followed by loud, animal sex in a backroom) makes him a top attraction. The film also incorporates subplots about an egomaniacal land tycoon (Michael Buffer - although they should have gotten Donald Trump) and a romance between Zohan and Dalia.

As directed by longtime Sandler cohort and frequent collaborator, Dennis Dugan, the movie opens with some energy but quickly descends into the doldrums. Once the film gets to New York, it becomes repetitive and long-winded. The proceedings get an occasional jolt of energy when Zohan uses his superspy abilities to defeat criminals, but there are too few instances of this. The movie's middle section is primarily comprised of scenes of elderly women looking disheveled as they exit the back room where Zohan has taken them as a part of their "hair styling." The film pays so little attention to the attraction between Zohan and Dalia that the only reason it doesn't come as a complete surprise is because it's a given in comedies like this that the lead man must fall in love with the hottest woman.

Once, Adam Sandler was known as one of the bad boys of comedy - an actor who typically played uncouth men in a state of arrested adolescent development, and used those characteristics to comedic effect. These days, Sandler wants to be liked, so he occasionally essays serious roles and his alter-egos in comedies have lost their edge. Despite his willingness to couple with anything female and his Monty Python-esque accent, Zohan is pretty boring. "Pretty" also applies to Emmanuelle Chriqui. She's eye candy for the teenage boys who comprise Sandler's core audience. John Tuturro is underused and unfunny. Then there's Rob Schneider, Sandler's buddy, who once again proves that a one scene appearance is too much screen time - and here he's given a lot more than just one scene. His subplot about a terrorist taxi cab driver out to get Zohan is a complete dud, and not only because Schneider fails to elicit a single laugh.

Even die-hard Sandler lovers will likely acknowledge that their hero isn't firing on all cylinders here. We go to these movies to laugh at dumb, crude things and, while You Don't Mess with the Zohan offers plenty of crass, stupid material, not a lot of it is funny, even on a base level. For every successful gag, there are perhaps ten that don't work or that try so hard that they lose their appeal. As a ten-minute skit on Saturday Night Live, You Don't Mess with the Zohan might have worked. As a two-hour movie, it lacks the comedic energy to rise above a middling crowd of forgettable summer movies.

Sex and the City

COMEDY/DRAMA
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-05-30
Running Length: 2:28
MPAA Classification: R (Sexual Situations, Nudity, Profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Cast: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Chris Noth, Jennifer Hudson, David Eigenberg, Evan Handler
Director: Michael Patrick King
Screenplay: Michael Patrick King, based on characters created by Candace Bushnell
Cinematography: John Thomas
Music: Aaraon Zigman
U.S. Distributor: New Line Cinema

n transitioning Sex and the City from the small screen to the big one, filmmaker Michael Patrick King (who was also one of the HBO show runners) chose not to make the movie inclusive. This is for the fans, and only for the fans. Those who lived and loved and suffered and rejoiced over the years with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda will in all likelihood be delighted by the cinematic production. It is a continuation and an affirmation that life goes on even after reruns. For those who do not consider themselves to be among the Sex and the City faithful, however, this is a painful experience, perhaps the longest 148 minutes likely to be spent in a movie theater this year. Watching grass grow is more dramatically satisfying.

Sex and the City is a lot like Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Although that may at first sound like a bizarre comparison, it's not a stretch. When it arrived in theaters in 1979, Star Trek: The Motion Picture was a valentine to those who loved the TV show. The film was less interested in opening up the Star Trek universe to non-believers than it was in providing a reunion in which every member of the original cast got at least one moment in the spotlight. Fans embraced the film. On the other hand, casual viewers were bored out of their minds. History repeats itself with Sex and the City. This is an exercise in self-indulgence - an episode of the TV series inflated to grotesquely exaggerated proportions both in terms of size and running time. What can make for disposable entertainment in 30-minute bites becomes unbearably tedious when expanded to five times that length.

The movie opens by catching up with where the lives of the characters have gone since the end of the TV show. Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) is still with Mr. Big (Chris Noth). His professed undying love has not diminished. Now, they're talking about moving in together and getting married. Yet as plans for the nuptials get underway, ideas for an intimate gathering are inflated in direct proportion to the price tag on the wedding gown. Meanwhile, Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is living the life of luxury in California, but she's bored and her out-of-control libido is threatening to ruin her cozy life. Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is a doting wife and mother but is worried that her life may be too perfect and that karma may be waiting to put her through a wringer. Finally, Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) learns that there's a price to be paid for a lack of sexual intimacy in the marriage bed.

The TV series Sex and the City was often lauded as having been one of the smartest written shows during its era. While that may have been true, little of the reputed intelligence has made it into the movie's screenplay. The storyline is a turgidly paced soap opera with minimal character development. The four principals are largely in the same place at the end of the movie as they are at the beginning. The screenplay relies on viewers having "grown" with these individuals over the years. Those starting the journey with the movie will come away wondering why anyone would care about four unpleasant, shallow, self-absorbed women. The dialogue, which was said to be a strong point of the TV program, is trite and riddled with clichés. And Sarah Jessica Parker's voiceovers, instead of setting the scene and providing pithy narration, come and go randomly and add little to the proceedings.

Sex and the City isn't especially funny, although it labors hard to be. The movie's idea of "clever" is to have a conversation about sex using the word "coloring" as a euphemism (so as not to distress a young girl in the room). This leads to dialogue that is worthy of the old sit-com Three's Company. The film's biggest laugh comes not as a result of sex talk or bedroom hijinks but when Charlotte ingests something that doesn't agree with her and she can't make it to the bathroom in time. That's right: Sex and the City's funniest gag is a poop joke.

The film's idea of breaking new ground is to introduce the secondary character of Louise (Jennifer Hudson), Carrie's new assistant. She is given a complete, perfunctory arc and is effectively written out after having been in only a handful of scenes. At least there's someone on screen who isn't white, skinny, and nails-on-the-blackboard unpleasant. Sadly, even she can't escape infection by the cupidity that suffuses Sex and the City. Unable to afford brand-name handbags, she rents them. The ultimate expression of Carrie's affection for her assistant is to present her with a real Louis Vuitton as a Christmas gift. In a way, Sex and the City suffers from bad timing. Its celebration of materialism feels a little out of whack with the national mood in the midst of a recession.

So which is Sex and the City: the continuation of a modern-day fairy tale begun on television and adored by millions (most of whom are women and gay men) or a sloppily-made, unbearably long slog through the lives of four unpleasant individuals whose values are more screwed up than their love lives? It is, in fact, both. The niche audience will applaud it; everyone else will either ignore it (the wisest choice) or fall asleep if ambushed into seeing it. There are no surprises here, either for fans or non-fans. The difference is that those who have developed a love for the TV series will savor the comfort of being reunited with old friends while other viewers will care even less about Sex and the City's protagonists on the way out of the theater than they do on the way in.

The Happening

THRILLER
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-13
Running Length: 1:30
MPAA Classification: R (Violence, Profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Ashlyn Sanchez, Betty Buckley
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Screenplay: M. Night Shyamalan
Cinematography: Tak Fujimoto
Music: James Newton Howard
U.S. Distributor: 20th Century Fox

M. Night Shyamalan has always been something of an illusionist. Even at his best, he succeeds not because he's a masterful storyteller but because he's an expert at sleight-of-hand and pulling rabbits out of his hat. With The Lady in the Water, Shyamalan's smoke dissipated and his mirrors broke, and he hasn't repaired them in time for The Happening. In fact, this 2008 thriller eclipses The Lady in the Water in terms of ineptitude. It's borderline unwatchable and raises the question of whether anyone will be satisfied with what the director has translated from script to screen. This isn't a long movie - unlike many summertime would-be "big events," it clocks in well under two hours - but it serves as an endurance test.

The Happening has an apocalyptic premise. Some kind of mysterious neurotoxin has been released in New York's Central Park, causing people to become disoriented and suicidal. They eliminate themselves in interesting ways, involving implements as diverse as knitting needles and lawnmowers. The airborne killer soon spreads throughout Manhattan, then expands to Philadelphia and Boston, and all around the northeast. What is initially posited as a terrorist attack may in fact be something else. The story centers on four individuals - high school teacher Elliot (Mark Wahlberg); his emotionally distant wife, Alma (Zooey Deschanel); his best friend, Julian (John Leguizamo); and Julian's young daughter, Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez). They escape by train from Philadelphia just before the epidemic hits, but find themselves stranded in rural Eastern Pennsylvania , fleeing from the wind and hoping to find a place of shelter in which to weather the storm.

There are two elements a film like The Happening needs to succeed: a powerful sense of atmosphere and strong character development. When a film possesses a minimal plot, it needs something - anything - to capture the viewer's interest. It needs people with whom audience members can identify and about whom they can care, and it needs a sense of menace, a feeling that the threat is real and immediate. The Happening possesses neither. Faced with stilted dialogue that's a patchwork of howlingly bad lines and clichés, there's little that leads Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel can do other than grit their teeth and soldier on. Neither gives a memorable performance, but the movie loses us long before their acting can be called into question.

Shyamalan likes to compare himself to Alfred Hitchcock (and The Happening includes nods to The Birds) but, even at his worst, the Master of Suspense understood the importance of atmosphere. Shyamalan, on the other hand, fails to grasp that his constant shots of trees and bushes swaying to the promptings of the wind do not invoke the sense of dread he's hoping for. In actuality, there are times when these repeated images verge on self-parody, and it doesn't help that characters start talking to the vegetation. Significant chunks of The Happening might have been unintentionally amusing if the end result wasn't so sad and dispiriting. It takes great skill as a director to make viewers believe the wind and plants are to be feared, and it's evident that Shyamalan has overreached himself by a stretch. Even the singing Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors was more ominous.

It's easy enough to see what Shyamalan is trying to do, but "trying" can be distanced by a chasm from "succeeding," as is the case here. Had The Happening worked, it might have been the kind of creepy story that gets under your skin, but the actual movie looks and feels like something made for almost no budget by a filmmaker with mediocre talent. There's no point to it, unless it's to trumpet a way-too-obvious and strident pro-environmentalist message. (One that makes The Day After Tomorrow seem subtle by comparison.) The Happening is a bore with none of the tension and suspense needed to keep us interested. Even simple scenes reek of contrivance. Everything in this movie is artificial - fake to a level beyond what even those with blockbuster-benumbed senses will endure. We don't believe in these people, their relationships, their circumstances, or even the things they say. Worse still, we don't care. It doesn't matter if they live or die, if there's a happy ending, or some kind of twist. The Happening is a movie to walk out of, sleep through, or - best of all - not to bother with.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

ACTION/ADVENTURE
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-05-22
Running Length: 2:06
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Violence)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Harrison Ford, Shia LeBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone, John Hurt, Jim Broadbent
Director: Steven Spielberg
Screenplay: David Koepp
Cinematography: Janusz Kaminski
Music: John Williams
U.S. Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Nineteen years is a long time to wait, a long time in which expectations can be fertilized and grow. The biggest challenges faced by Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have less to do with entertaining an audience than competing with the ghosts of movies past and expanding the mythology of a character who has been out of the limelight for two decades. Perhaps it is too much to hope that this new movie, coming so long after its predecessors, might recapture the magic that infused Raiders of the Lost Ark and sporadically sputtered to the surface in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The latest effort is the most lifeless of the series, and feels more like an overplotted, confused reunion than a legitimate action/adventure outing. It would be a failure even without the impressive pedigree - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull simply isn't a very good motion picture.

Still, good or bad, everyone will see it. But the film doesn't work on the most basic level where even The Temple of Doom succeeded: getting viewers on the edges of their seats. That's not to say the film is without action; it features a number of such sequences. But a key element is missing: excitement. There's no suspense and not a lot of energy. We never believe that Indy or a member of his entourage is in danger. There's never any sense of "How's he going to get out of this?" The cliffhangers are easily shrugged off. The reason to see The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is not to rediscover the joy and thrills of the Indiana Jones of old but to connect with familiar friends. This movie is comfortable, and that's the problem. It's too comfortable. For George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Harrison Ford, it's a matter of putting on well-worn slippers and bathrobes. The result is a sloppily made opportunity to spend a few more hours with a character who has put on a lot more years and miles since the last time we encountered him in a darkened theater.

The curtain rises in 1957 Nevada, where a captive Indy (Ford) and his latest sidekick, Mac (Ray Winstone), have been taken by a Soviet squad led by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett). She leads them into a huge warehouse where all the American military secret artifacts are stored (including, as we see in a "cameo," the Lost Ark from Raiders). There's something she wants and Indy is expected to locate it for her. An escape later, Dr. Jones is back in class teaching about the wonders of archeology to his students. That's when Dean Stanforth (Jim Broadbent) informs him that he's being given a mandatory leave of absence. Before he can get out of Dodge, however, he is cornered by a twenty-something guy named "Mutt" (Shia LeBeouf). The leather-jacketed Guys and Dolls reject needs Indy's help to find Professor Oxley (John Hurt), who has gotten mixed up in a treasure hunt involving crystal skulls and the Lost City of Gold. Soon, Indy and Mutt are on their way to South America, where their paths cross with Spalko and her Soviet comrades and a figure from Indy's past - the irrepressible Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen).

In bringing back Marion, at least The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull does one thing right. She and Ford exhibit a little of the same chemistry, although the sexual element is toned down significantly now that they're old enough to be grandparents. The screenplay also makes frequent and pointed references to Indy's age. There's never any pretence that this guy isn't ready to start collecting Social Security, and the character of Mutt is added as a way by which the series can continue. Although numerous "old friends" are missing, each has an analog of sorts. Marcus Brody, portrayed by the late Denholm Elliott, is no longer around, so Jim Broadbent's Dean Stanforth fills his place. Sallah, who helped Indy in Chapters One and Three, is left off the screen (reportedly due to "unreasonable" salary demands by John Rhys-Davies), so enter Ray Winstone's Mac. Finally, with Sean Connery electing not to come out of retirement, there's no way to bring back Henry Jones Sr., but John Hurt's Oxley functions in a similar capacity. Everything old is new again, or something like that.

Every Indiana Jones adventure has a central action sequence, a "tent pole" around which everything else is constructed. In Raiders, it was the segment where Indy hijacks the vehicle in the convoy containing the Ark. In Temple, it was the mine cart ride. In Crusade, it was the tank encounter. There's one in The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, as well - a multi-vehicle chase through the jungle that ends with a lot of red ants and an amphibious landing. Unfortunately, not only is the level of tension at an all-time low but the choreography is dubious. The film can't keep track of all the characters so one car disappears for half the chase only to reappear at a critical juncture near the end. The movie contains its share of other action scenes that, while less lavish or extensive, are no more thrilling.

As was true of the previous films, this one attempts to balance light comedy with action. The jokiness that occasionally damaged The Last Crusade is more pronounced here with one-liners punctuating the dialogue. There are some clever ones, to be sure, but most are perfunctory. And there are times when things get silly, even for the comic book-inspired calisthenics of Dr. Jones. For an example of this, consider the scene in which Mutt makes like Tarzan and swings from vine to vine on the way to a monkey-accompanied rescue.

The movie's decision to add aliens to the mix isn't a problem, especially considering the supernatural underpinnings of the previous installments, but the resultant anticlimax is. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull shoots its feeble wad early and stumbles to the finish line with a lot of effects, none of which are special.

Still, even considering the poor focus of the screenplay and the lackluster nature of Spielberg's normally sure-handed direction, it's as tough to dislike this movie as it is to champion it. That's because, while nearly everything around him has changed, Ford has no trouble sliding back into the costume and character. His performance sells this as an Indiana Jones movie no matter how much nearly every other aspect of the production cries out "imitation." The pleasures to be had from the film, meager though they are at times, are almost all delivered by Ford, and his scenes with Karen Allen bring a long-desired closure to the relationship they initiated nearly 30 years ago. Shia LeBoeuf doesn't show that he has what it takes to fill Ford's shoes but, as a sidekick, he's effective. Mutt could easily have been annoying but he stays in his place.

In the end, however, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull can't be seen as anything other than a very minor chapter in the adventures of one of cinema's most beloved action heroes and a disappointment for those who have waited patiently for his return. George Lucas knows a thing of two about disappointing fans when resurrecting long-dormant franchises, but what he does here is a far worse crime than he perpetrated with Star Wars. In that saga, there was still a story to tell. The episodic nature of this trilogy meant no follow-up was needed. And, if this is the best the filmmakers could come up with, the wisest course would have been to leave movie-goers with their memories.

The Love Guru

COMEDY
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-20
Running Length: 1:29
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Sexual Situations, Profanity, Violence)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Meagan Good, Vern Troyer, Ben Kingsley
Director: Marco Schnabel
Screenplay: Mike Myers & Graham Gordy
Cinematography: Peter Deming
Music: George S. Clinton
U.S. Distributor: Paramount Pictures

To some, Mike Myers is Wayne. To others, he is Austin Powers or the voice of Shrek. It's doubtful that he will be Guru Pitka to many. The Love Guru, Myers' latest film and his most recent live-action endeavor since The Cat in the Hat, is as unmemorable as the title character. Although the film can boast clusters of clever and/or amusing material, they are not sprinkled liberally enough to obscure how thin all other aspects of this production are. The Love Guru is a skit that starts out promising but loses momentum as it goes on and on and on… Occasional bursts of comedy keep things from becoming unbearable but whenever Myers tries to get even a little serious or advance the "plot," the desire to take a nap becomes almost overpowering.

Guru Pitka (Myers) is known variously as "The Love Guru" and the "Second-Most Famous Guru after Deepak Chopra." His ashram is visited by"notables" like Jessica Simpson, Val Kilmer, and Mariska Hargitay (there's a fairly amusing joke there). However, he chafes at playing second fiddle on the world's stage to Chopra, with whom he studied as a child under the tutelage of Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley). The Promised Land for Pitka is a guest spot on Oprah. His services are sought by the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba), when her star player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), is unable to get the job done on the doorstep of the Stanley Cup Finals. Without Darren, the Maple Leafs have no chance, and he is unable to get over losing his girlfriend, Prudence (Meagan Good) to the L.A. Kings' goaltender, Jacques 'Le Coq' Grande (Justin Timberlake). Guru Pitka's assignment, which comes with a $2 million paycheck and the sought-after appearance on Oprah, is to reunite Darren and Prudence.

On a broad level, The Love Guru is as much a satire of Eastern-based self-help philosophies as Austin Powers was of spy movies. The movie is at its best during a seminar given by Guru Pitka during the early going. Using silly and sometimes profane acronyms (B.L.O.W.M.E.), the guru preaches a lifestyle perspective that distills to one simple premise: D.R.A.M.A. During this lecture, Myers gets in his jabs early and often and, had the rest of the movie continued on this level, The Love Guru might have been Myers' most successful comedy to-date. Unfortunately, it devolves into little more than a series of bodily fluid-themed gags and sex jokes. We learn, for example, why Tugginmypudha is cross-eyed, why Jacques is nicknamed 'Le Coq', and what happens when Pitka's chastity belt is put to the test. The problem isn't that this material is sophomoric, but that it's sophomoric and frequently unfunny. When was the last time an elementary school graduate laughed at a man making "diarrhea noises" for about 30 seconds?

Myers has fashioned a career out of hiding behind inventive caricatures with faces and accents not entirely his own. They're easy enough to list: Austin Powers, Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard, Shrek, The Cat in the Hat. Guru Pitka, with his long beard and flowing locks, is another such entity. Hindu groups are protesting the movie, but Myers isn't mocking the religion as much as the commercial offshoots that have rooted in pop culture over the past few years. The movie never addresses or lampoons issues of spirituality. Pitka's goal in life is to achieve self-love. (Only then can he have sex with Jessica Alba.) His is a secular mantra. The closest The Love Guru comes to commenting on Indian culture is when it parodies cheesy Bollywood musical numbers. Myers gets in more jabs at Canada than India. (He is, of course, Canadian.) The participation of Vern Troyer (playing the Maple Leafs' coach, not Mini-Me) allows Myers to unleash a barrage of dwarf-related jokes, many of which are of questionable taste and a few of which are very funny.

I wanted to like The Love Guru more than I did. The frustrating thing about the movie is that it contains moment of comedy that verge on inspired, but they are too infrequent to justify the running length. For the most part, the film meanders, trying to get us to care about paper-thin characters like Roanoke, Prudence, and Jane. With Austin Powers, Myers went after a subject that everyone recognized as being ripe for satire. While his subject material in The Love Guru is no less easily lampooned, the parody has less universal resonance. That, more than anything else, may be what limits interest in this movie. The nature of this comedy isn't that different from that of the popular Austin Powers series, but the material isn't as accessible.

The Incredible Hulk.

ACTION/ADVENTURE
United States, 2008
U.S. Release Date: 2008-06-13
Running Length: 1:52
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Violence, Profanity, Sexual Situations)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt, Tim Blake Nelson
Director: Louis Leterrier
Screenplay: Zak Penn and Edward Harrison, based on the comic book By Stan Lee and Jack Kirby
Cinematography: Peter Menzies Jr.
Music: Craig Armstrong
U.S. Distributor: Universal Pictures

This review reveals some of the cameos in The Incredible Hulk. Those who wish to be surprised by these appearances would do well to stop reading now.

For five years, Marvel has been trying to figure out what to do with one of the biggest potential franchises of its universe. Ang Lee's Hulk proved to be a dud with fans and producing a direct sequel was as unlikely an alternative as altogether forgoing additional Hulk movies. So the decision was made to "re-imagine" the character, which is a nice way of saying that the 2003 feature would be ignored. The Incredible Hulk is a more traditional superhero movie than its predecessor and should please those who want their not-so-jolly green giant served with helpings of action. This film provides less talk and more smashing.

Structurally, The Incredible Hulk is a fairly straightforward superhero movie. While it is not an "origin story" in the strictest sense, it functions as one in the way it must introduce characters, establish situations and relationships, and open a series. As a result of so much backstory, there's not a lot of room for a complex plot. So the principal villain remains half-formed and the storyline as a whole revolves around three confrontations between the Hulk and this nemesis.

The film opens with a re-telling of how Dr. Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) entered his Jekyll and Hyde state. This allows the 2003 Hulk to be "erased" from the record for those who care about such things. As we join the story, Banner is in South America, on the run from himself and the military, trying to keep a low profile while he searches for a cure to what plagues him. A mishap at a factory alerts General Ross (William Hurt) to Banner's location. A tactical team, led by the amoral Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), goes in to capture Banner. After turning into the Hulk, he escapes and heads back to the United States, where he is reunited with his former love, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler). Meanwhile, the General and Emil plot a "foolproof" method of capturing Banner - one that involves injecting Blonsky with a serum that makes him superhuman.

The Incredible Hulk takes place in the same "universe" as Iron Man (a point that is driven home by a Robert Downey Jr. cameo), but the movies aren't on quite the same level. Iron Man was rightfully described as a "comic book movie that you don't have to be a comic book fan to like." The same is not true of The Incredible Hulk. This film's appeal, while not as narrowly focused as Sex and the City, is designed primarily with fanboys in mind. Director Louis Leterrier's approach lacks the wit and sophistication of Iron Man. While The Incredible Hulk has some emotional resonance, it's built on a foundation of action. When Lou Ferrigno (providing the main character's voice) shouts "Hulk Smash!", it encapsulates the attraction.

As Banner, Edward Norton takes over for Eric Bana but there's little apparent difference in the way the character is interpreted. Banner is still the same tortured soul he was in 2003. Liv Tyler's version of Betty Ross is surprisingly awkward and at times unconvincing, but maybe that has a lot to do with her dialogue. It's as if George Lucas was brought in to ghost write her lines. At least there's a real sense of affection between Banner and Betty; that goes a long way toward redeeming weaknesses in Tyler's performance. As Blonsky, Tim Roth is at his badass best, even if all he really has to do is sneer a lot. William Hurt is fine, if a little bland, as Ross. Then there's Downey, who's on-screen for about 30 seconds, but steals the movie and brings down the house. That says a lot about the popularity of Iron Man and indicates how big Iron Man 2 will be.

The Incredible Hulk pays homage in many ways to the popular late-'70s/early-'80s TV show of the same name. In addition to providing the little-used voice of the Hulk, Ferrigno reprises his role from the 2003 movie as a nameless security guard. Bill Bixby gets a little face-time via some archival footage that's inserted in such a way that anyone not looking for it won't be bothered by it. There's also a brief snippet of the TV show's theme tune, a character named "Jack McGee," and an iconic shot of Banner walking alone, hitchhiking. Plus, Stan Lee makes his obligatory cameo. (He and Ferrigno are the only two to appear in both Hulk and The Incredible Hulk.)

After a slightly protracted introduction that puts all the pieces in place, The Incredible Hulk stays action-oriented for the remainder of its running time, pausing occasionally for some exposition or to advance the Banner/Betty relationship. Granted, a lot of the action consists of chase scenes with soldiers running after Banner, but whenever the Hulk appears, things get interesting. The final battle, bits of which have been shown in TV commercials and trailers, recalls one of those Japanese monster-a-thons where giant creatures collide. And it's a lot more kinetic (and shorter) than the climactic conflict in Transformers. The Incredible Hulk builds to this, and it doesn't let us down.

The special effects used to create the Hulk aren't flawless but they're good enough. The CGI is evident mainly during the final battle, when it's apparent that a lot of what we're seeing was crafted in a computer. The word "cartoonish" comes to mind but, considering that this is adapted from a comic book, that's not an inappropriate descriptor. The work here passes muster, and the Hulk is no longer the bright green of the 2003 feature. Letterier has rendered him in a grayish-green.

The Incredible Hulk provides Marvel with its second superhero hit of the summer. For comic book fans, Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk represent a solid one-two punch. If the former movie was a triple, the latter is a solid single, and good enough to drive the earlier one home. Now, the wait is on for The Dark Knight, to see whether D.C. can hold its own. Certainly, Marvel has succeeded in wiping away the hangover from last summer's crop of superhero movies and revising the future look more promising.